


Damaged

by EllenRobion



Category: Noah Centineo - Fandom
Genre: College, F/M, Hate Sex, Love, Love/Hate, Studying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-08-10 01:30:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 35
Words: 28,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20127142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllenRobion/pseuds/EllenRobion
Summary: Avalynn Bennett, a small girl from Nashville goes to University Miami, her life all figured out, planned out, but little did she know, little did know that she was about to meet Mr.Damaged.





	1. One

One. 

“I’m going to miss you” My dad whispered in my ear as we were saying our goodbyes.   
“I promise to call every day, I’ll still be the annoying girl you know” I giggled in his neck, I pulled back from the hug, only to see his eyes with tears. 

“Avalynn I’m really going to miss you, please call me when you are there” He said wiping his tears “I will” I kissed him on the cheek and took a deep breath, took my bags and walked away. 

“Don’t look back!” My dad sobbed out, making me smile, I rushed to the plane that was already boarding, I sighed, so this is it, I’m flying almost three hours to go to Miami University. 

I have planned and saved for this my whole life, I have always wanted to study law, so I signed up to all my classes, knowing I’ll be able to take all of them at once. 

I hope I have a nice roommate; I think as I sat down on the plane, I put on my headphones, in case anyone talked to me, and started reading one of my books I brought with me, one of my many books. 

The time literally flew by, no pun intended, I got quickly out off the plane to get my baggage, I got them immediately and I walked outside to catch a Taxi, as I came out, one stopped, guess it’s really a good day for me. 

He helped me with my baggage and then I told him to go to campus of University Miami, I guess I should wait till I arrive at the dorms to call my dad. 

I guess he should be worried by now, you see, it’s us alone, my mother left what felt like ages ago, but it has only been 10 years, since then, we got closer than ever, well, which is obvious, and I got so dedicated to make him proud, that I put everything in for my studies, I worked so hard, not only studying, but actually working, I worked at a library, to save for this. 

I came out of my daydream by him saying that we are here, I looked out the window to see a lot, but a lot, of teenagers, I felt my stomach fill with nervous butterflies but I try my hard to ignore it, I got out the taxi, as he already got my bags out, I paid him and thanked his nice actions. 

I took a deep breath and got in the building with all my bags, trying my hardest not to be clumsy and drop everything. Room 184, I read on my letter.   
As soon as I found it, I opened the door and saw my roommate I was so anxious to meet...


	2. Two

“Heeey!” My I suppose roommate cheered as she sat on her bed “Hi, I’m Ava” I smiled “I’m Isabelle, but call me Isa” She smiled, I nodded as I studied her, I took in her blond almost perfectly straight natural blond hair, her blue eyes and her beautiful figure, I think I’m going to like it here.

I set my baggage on my bed, I looked around the dorm, it was small, but not too small, I had enough room just to study, that’s all I need. 

“I’m going to go out, wanna come?” She smiled, I shook my head “Oh no, thanks tho, I need to unpack” I nodded “Okay, next time” She smiled and walks off, I shut the door and sat down on my bed, calling my dad, he immediately picks up and I tell him I’m okay and how my flight went by so quickly, I tell him about Isabelle and I describe how my small but cozy dorm is. 

When I hang up, I realized it was already 7 p.m, and I haven’t eaten since 8 a.m this morning, I got up looking at myself in the small mirror, wearing my pink shirt and my black shorts. I fixed my shirt and walked out, hopefully finding something to eat. 

I saw this small bar, I guess something is better than nothing right?

I walked in and immediately smelled the coffee, I wonder if they have something to eat, I looked over, I saw sandwiches, Yes! 

I practically ran over and got one with tuna and salad, and I just ate it up, enjoying every minute of it, and every bite, after that I went back to my dorm, Isabelle isn’t here yet, guess that gives me time to order a little the room. 

I did that and then I got into my pajamas and got into my small bed, I sighed, this is all I ever wanted, I thought right before I drifted right off. 

A bang on the door woke me up, I groaned looking at the clock, 7 a.m? I sighed getting up seeing Isabelle already came back, but she was sound asleep, does she not hear the pounding on the door? I rubbed my eyes and opened. 

“Wha-“ “What the fuck is your problem!?” A tall guy stormed in “Hey!” I yelled at him, he looked back at me, his eyes were full off anger, he stormed to Isabelle and took the sheets off of her, exposing her in her pajamas. 

She shoots up “Noah?” She said rubbing her eyes, Noah? Who the hell is Noah? 

“Where is it?” He said as he began to research the room “Hey get out!” I stated annoyed, who does he thinks he is? “I don’t have whatever you are looking for” She snapped, he then went through my stuff.   
I ran over “You have no right” I stated “Shut the fuck up little bitch” He growls, excuse me? Isabelle got up and grabbed him by the shirt he was wearing and dragged him out, once he was out she slammed the door “Fucking prick” She muttered going right back to her bed. 

“What was that about?” “Don’t worry, it’s nothing, he’s crazy” she said turning out the light, so this is going to be all my mornings? This Noah guy banging on my door researching my room? 

I couldn’t help myself to think how handsome he was, his hair was half curly, his eyes were honey brown, from what I could see, he really looked good. 

I decided to get my day starting already, since I’m awake already, I got my stuff and walked over to the community showers, I got a quick but nice shower and quickly dressed myself, a white t-shirt with just some plain jeans shorts. 

I brushed my curly long brown hair and went right back to my room to leave my stuff, I sighed and I went to the only familiar place on campus for now, the bar I went to yesterday, I hope it’s already open. 

As soon as I turned the corner when I’m out of the building, I the lights were on, oh god I love this place, I walked in, the coffee once again filled my nose, I went over and asked for a plain black coffee, with a muffin, I sat down with some of the books that I will be using tomorrow, just to be prepared. 

I looked up for a second, the Noah guy was also getting some coffee, once he got his order and walked past me, I couldn’t help myself. 

“What were you looking about in my dorm?” I looked at him, he looked down at me “Who said you could talk to me?” He snorts and walked off, woah, what an asshole. 

I wonder what he’s even doing here.


	3. Three

I got out of my bed as soon as my alarm clock went off the next day, reminding me of my first day of classes. I quickly got dressed and all ready for the day.

I rushed out, I’m still on time, perfect. I have like a 10 minute walk to my first class. 

I got there soon enough, it was open already, I got in the class, I was the first to get in, as I’m used to, I walked a little up, sitting in the second row, and then the class started slowly to fill up. 

After the busy day of classes, I got into the so familiar bar, I sat down, kind of regretting all the classes I took, I re-read everything they lectured about today, so it stuck in my head. 

Soon enough, the bar filled up with yelling teenagers, I groaned looking up, it was this Noah again, the rudest human being I have ever met, but also so handsome, his half-curled hair, his tan skin tone… but something is off, I can’t figure out what. 

I wonder what he wanted from Isabelle, I guess I will ask her later, if she even is in the room. 

“Hey” I heard someone say, I looked up to see a cute blond guy, blue eyes “I’m Alex, I just saw you here all alone I thought I would come and sit with you?” He smiled. 

“Yeah of course” I said making space so he could sit “So, you’re new, huh?” He asked, I nodded “Yeah, how do you notice?” “That you are here alone” He laughs “Oh” I giggled looking over at Noah, he was standing against the counter, with his back facing it, sort of glaring my way, I quickly looked away. 

“Noah Centineo? You too?” Alex said, I looked over at him “Huh?” what does he mean? 

“It’s a bad idea to start something with him” He nodded “What? Oh, no, are you crazy?” I laughed, he chuckled “Just in case, he’s fucked up, you wouldn’t want to get caught up by his stupid ass life” He nodded. 

“No worries” I said starting to read again my book, “Heey! I saw you met Alex” Isabelle said sitting down with us, “Oh, you are friends?” I asked “Sort of” She said kissing him, oh. 

“Sorry” I said looking away quickly, I glanced back up, and they were all gone, phew, I don’t have to look around for that anymore, I just feel so uncomfortable around all this people. 

“I’m going to go” I said getting up along with my things, I smiled at them and walked off to my dorm. 

When I got there, I started cleaning up a little, I found a necklace that looked like a males necklace with a name on ‘Kelle Janel’ is that what Noah was looking for? I wondered, I took it and put it with my stuff, so I could give it to him when I get the chance, even if he doesn’t deserve it, it looked like it meant something for him, maybe it’s his girlfriend? But who would want to be a girlfriend of someone like him? I laughed to myself. 

I got up in my bed after getting my pajama on, and I drifted right to sleep…


	4. Four

The horrendous sound of my alarm clock woke me up once again, I got up quickly shutting it off, and went to the showers, I got dressed after the shower, in a simple yellow t-shirt and a black skirt. 

I brushed my hair and then went to drop off my stuff, taking my bag with me, off to class. 

I stood by the classroom waiting for the professor to come, and there he was, Noah was standing against the wall, just like he previously was at the café bar. I slowly walked over to him. 

“Is this yours?” I asked, showing him the necklace, I found yesterday, he looked up, and his eyes softened “Where did you find that?” He snapped, “I was cleaning my dorm yesterday, here” I handed it to him. 

He nodded and put it inside his pocket. 

The professor came “Noah! You decided to come by” He said sarcastically, “Don’t flatter yourself” He muttered glaring at him, I looked over at the professor confused, I guess they know each other? 

I got in the class and five minutes later the classroom started to fill, I’m sort of happy that I got to find his necklace back, since the look in his eyes meant that it had like this meaning to him. Guess it’s from his girlfriend.

The class went by fast, I wrote down everything the professor lectured so I’m sure that it will stick with me, and then I walked off to the next one.

“Hey!” I heard a familiar voice, I looked back “I never caught your name” Alex smiled “Oh, sorry, I’m Ava” I smiled “May I walk with you?” “Sure” I nodded as we walked to the class room we had class in, obviously. 

“So, how is it going so far?” He looked at me “It’s good, I think” I laughed, he joined me “Little bit boring, I guess” I shrugged “You should come to the party Friday” He nodded “Me? Parties? No thanks” I shook my head. 

“Come on! It will be fun” He kept going on about the party, about how everyone is going and if I’m not going then I will never fit in and all the bull he could sell me, and of course, I agreed to go with them, why even? 

The day went by fast, same stuff, lectured written down, no talking, etc. 

I decided to go back to my dorm to do some homework, Isabelle was there too, so I decided to inform. 

“Why did you take the necklace of Noah?” I suddenly asked, she looked up “What?” She looked confused “Yeah, I found it yesterday” I bit my lip, “He deserved it” She laughed. 

How bad can someone be if you want to steal something from them just to hurt them? “He’s really crazy Ava, if you don’t want to get involved don’t” She sternly said “Why are you guys so into trying to get me to not talk to him? I’m not the type of girl that falls for anyone, literally anyone” I sighed sitting down. 

“That’s because you don’t know Noah” She laughed, “I don’t want to know him” I chuckled “That’s for the best” She nodded. 

I did my homework and then I decided to go further into campus to get something decent to eat, not a cupcake like I had these two times I have eaten here. 

I found this burger place, I’m not a fan of burgers but I guess it’ll do, I went in and once I sat down, I saw on the menu there was spaghetti, yes! 

I took the spaghetti and when it got here, it was the best spaghetti I had eaten in days, because I haven’t eaten anything at all other than cupcakes. 

When I finished up my wonderful plate of spaghetti, I paid and walked back to my dorm. 

“You really shouldn’t be walking out here all alone” I heard a cold voice, I shivered looking back at him.


	5. Five

“Hey..” I awkwardly said “I mean it” Noah said, unsure what to say, I decided to keep walking “Why are you running?” He snapped “You just said…” “I’m not going to kill you” He coldly said. 

“Thank you? I guess” I mumbled “Let me walk you” “What? You called me a bitch, you think you can be friendly now?” I snapped crossing my arms “I called you a bitch, because you sort of are, but hey, fine, walk alone” He said. 

I huffed and walked off “Hope they don’t rape you” He called out, I looked back “You’re…” I started “What?” He said coming closer. 

I never realized how beautiful he is, I looked closer into his eyes, they were empty, it’s something I’ve never seen before, is he emotionless or something?   
“I..” I started, not being able to breath anymore, I thought I saw a little smirk on his face and he backed away “I’ll walk you” He said again, I sighed, guess there’s no way of fighting this guy off. 

“Fine, walk me" I mumbled “That’s what I thought" he said, we walked in silence to my dorm, he didn’t say a word until we got to the building.

“By the way, you look like a nun with that skirt" he stated “Are you always this nice to everyone?” I glared at him, he looked at me “Only with you" he said coldly, I sighed “Thank you for walking me home, I guess" I muttered walking inside the building not looking back.

Why did he even wanted to walk me? Only to point out how I look like a nun? To make fun of me? He's such an ass.

I got inside my room and shut the door after me, leaning against it, taking a deep breath, once I looked good, I saw Isabelle was here with Alex and they were looking confused.

“Sorry" I chuckled and sat down on my bed “did something happen?” Isabelle asked, I shook my head “it has been a long evening” I said taking out my books to start re-reading what the professors lectured, like I did every day.

Alex didn’t stay much longer, and before I knew it, I fell asleep with my face in my books.

What felt like no time, my alarm clock rang, I groaned again but got up, not wanting to, but having to.

I got ready just like yesterday but today I put on some jeans and a plain white shirt, I brushed my hair and got my bag.

As I was walking to my first class, I couldn’t help but remember yesterday, I never thought that I would find someone like Noah handsome, or attractive.

Once I got there, I immediately sat down in my seat, and Noah came in too, I never noticed him here before, he sat next to me.

“Hey nun" he smirked “My name is Ava, thank you" I spat out, he looked up in my eyes, “I like nun better" he shrugged

“If you came here to insult me you can leave” I looked away “I didn’t come to insult, I came to get an education, just like you, I assume" he said.

I groaned looking over in the classroom, with all the seats there are why does he have to come and sit with me?

I sighed opening my books, trying to get this annoying human being out of my mind


	6. Six

I got out as fast as I could out of the classroom, basically running out, just to not have to talk to Noah. 

But I was too late, he was already following me “Where are you running to?” He asked “Can you please just leave me alone?” “Why?”

“You’re not my type” I blurted out, I looked at him, and he busted out laughing “You think you are my type?” He laughed; I rolled my eyes “Then why bother me so much?” I mumbled. 

“I want to be friends” “I don’t need friends like you” I spat at him, not recognizing myself this way, but then again, if an animal is cornered, it also does weird things just to get out of the situation. 

“Auch, that one hurt” He chuckled, I glared at him “So, you going to the party?” He asked still following me around. Oh my God please just stop being annoying.

“But then again, you’re not the type to go to a party” He continued teasing “I am going, actually” “You got invited?” He asked. 

“Alex asked me” I spat “The nun has friends! Well, what sort of friends” He snorted, I sighed. 

“Bye Noah” I said walking into the girl’s bathroom, why does he have to talk to me? He is so attractive, but such an ass, guess you can’t be handsome if you’re not an ass.

I stayed a few minutes to make sure he left, when I walked out, he was gone, and Isabelle was there, so I decided to rush over to her. 

“Help” I groaned, “What’s wrong?” She asked confused. 

“This Noah guy keeps on following me” I groaned “Why? What does he want from you?” She asked while we walked off “To be friends” I mumbled, she looked at me “To be friends?” She asked suspiciously. 

“That’s what he said” I shrugged “Bad idea Ava” She nodded “I know, please stop saying that, I know what I’m doing” I sighed “Okay okay” She laughed. 

The day went fast by after that, I did the same thing as yesterday and then fell asleep. 

When my alarm went off, its Friday, the party. 

I groaned getting out of bed, I decided to put on a floral dress I had hanging in the closet to go to class. 

I still don’t get why I said yes to the whole partying thing. 

“Nun!” I heard him call, I decided to go a little bit faster “Ava!” He finally called, I stopped in tracks, I’ve never heard my name sound so good coming from someone. 

“So you DO know my name!” I cheered trying not to show how he just send shivers down my spine. 

“Do you need a ride tonight to the party?” Right! How am I even going to get there? Not with him, that’s for sure. 

“No, thanks, I’ll walk” I once again, spat at him “Okay, I’ll pick you up at 8” He said and walked off. 

“Wait what?” I asked, but he was already gone, why do I feel like this is going to be a loooong day? And even a longer night


	7. Seven

I was getting ready for tonight, since Noah said he was going to get me, I ate and then I went to my dorm to change, I didn’t have anything else then my long blue skirt, the nun skirt but in blue. 

“You’re really going with Noah?” Isabelle asked “Did something happen between you and Noah?” I bit my lip. 

“What?” She asked confused “Yeah, you seem like you’re making a big deal about it, I mean, I don’t really like him either, he seems like trouble, but I don’t know, I can’t help but think something’s up between you two” I shrugged. 

“He’s twisted, that’s all” She got up “See you there?” She smiled and walked out, great. 

I sighed looking in the mirror, good to go. 

The knocking on the door made me jump, I rushed over, fixing my skirt opening the door. 

Noah was standing there, with a red t-shirt and some black jeans, looking hot, just like he always does, looking flawless, until he opens his mouth. 

“I thought I wasn’t your type” He smirked “You aren’t” I snapped “I still don’t get why you had to come and pick me up” I said walking out, closing the door after me. 

“Just to annoy you” He smiled, but not an honest smile, an empty smile. 

“Like that you won’t get a girlfriend” I said. 

“Girlfriends are shit, why do you need to paste a name on some lame relationship? It never works anyways, nobody loves anyone more then they love their selves” He shrugged. 

“Do you really think like that?” I looked at him. 

“Hearts are meant to be broken, Ava” He breathed out “Did someone ever break yours?” I quietly asked. 

He chuckled “You can’t break something you don’t have” He said coldly walking after me. 

Well, that was a deep conversation, I took a deep breath before walking out the building. 

I saw what I assume was his car, a black audi a1, I like audi. 

“You coming?” He said getting in, I got in, hesitating. This is going to be such a bad idea; I wonder what the heck I was thinking. 

“Where are you from?” I asked him “This is no 20 questions” He spat. 

“Sorry, I thought for a moment that your annoying teenage phase was over” I rolled my eyes looking out the mirror. 

“Sucks for you” He mumbled, I sighed; I just want to ask him what the heck his problem is, why in the world does he have to react like that? Why does he have to be so cold? 

The rest of the ride was quiet, until we got there. That’s when he muttered something like ‘we’re here’ or something and we awkwardly got out, immediately splitting our ways.

So, all alone. I should of have known that this was a bad ass idea. 

“Ava!” Alex yelled, thank God, I rushed over to him “I thought you were here with Noah?” He asked, I shook my head taking a red cup of whatever that was standing on the counter. 

“You drink?” He asked surprised, I again shook my head, but harder this time. 

He laughed “Noah really gave you a hard time?” “Can you stop with Noah?” I groaned, he pulled his arms up in defense laughing. 

“Here” He said, guiding me to what I thought are his friends. 

“Guys, this is Ava” He introduced me, they all nodded “I’m Derek” A blonde said, “Austin” A blackhead stated. 

“Noah?” Isabelle sounded surprised. I looked back. 

“Want to come?” He said in my ear, sending the same shivers down my spine as maybe 6 hours ago. 

“I’m fine here, thanks tho” I snapped taking a drink. “Whatever floats your boat, nun” He mumbled in my ear and walked off. 

“How does he come here?” Austin laughed “Yea, I thought we were losers to him?” Derek rolled his eyes. 

“Guys, enough” Isabelle said, I sat down next to Austin “Let’s do something” He nodded.

“Spin the bottle!” Some guy yelled, in seconds they took out their phone and put it in the middle with an application that was like a bottle.

“I’m not sure if I want to play this game” I backed away “Play it, don’t be a freak” Some girl I’ve never seen said “Hey, relax, if she doesn’t want too then she won’t” Alex said. 

“It’s fine, I’ll play” I nodded sitting in the circle, taking another sip of my cup, I sighed as the bottle went to Derek, but then it fell on me, oh shit. 

I don’t really feel like kissing a stranger, but then again, I agreed to play. 

Derek got over “Ready?” He said so close to my face that I could feel his breath on my face, I sighed closing my eyes. 

Then I don’t know what happened, I saw Noah in my imagination. I freaked out and I opened my eyes quickly when I felt his lips touch mine, and I just pushed him off “What the fuck!?” He yelled. 

“I…um…” I panicked, then I got up and ran out of there.

What was that?


	8. Eight

“Ava?” I heard Noah call out while I was rushing out the crowded place. 

I finally was able to stop, I leaned against the wall taking deep breaths “Hey, you okay?” He asked, I looked up at him “Why do you care anyways!?” I yelled at him. 

“Woah” He said “Sorry” I sighed “I panicked” I mumbled sitting down on the ground. 

“Let me take you back to your dorm” He said giving me a hand to help me to stand up, I stood up without taking it, knowing it would be a bad idea to touch him. 

He walked off to his car and I walked after him, wanting to leave this horrendous place, once I got in the car; I realized I was tearing up, why am I even crying? 

I just kept looking out the window, hoping he wouldn’t notice, and he didn’t. So I got out quickly of his car, mumbling a quiet thank you and walked in the building rushing to my dorm. 

Once I got there, I realized I didn’t call my dad in this whole week, I had been so busy that I forgot him. 

I quickly got my computer and Skyped him, and he immediately picked up. 

“Hey baby” He said “Sorry dad that I didn’t call you” I started, then I started talking with him about Noah, how I’ve never been this way before, and that I think I sort of like him as in, attraction. 

I know it may seem weird to someone that I would talk to my dad about this, but what am I supposed to do if my mom isn’t there? 

I fell asleep talking to my dad, on the computer basically.

The next morning, I forgot to put an alarm, but since it was weekend it didn’t really matter that much. 

I didn’t have anything planned, so I decided to start of the day writing the essays some professors already said they were going to ask these. 

My day was quiet, almost too quiet, lonely, I don’t know. I guess I’m starting to miss my dad. 

Then my phone rang, I saw and I didn’t know the number, I decided to ignore it, then after 5 minutes, I got a text. 

I picked up my phone to look at it. 

It said ‘open the door’, I got up and walked to the door, not sure to open it up, what if it’s a serial killer? 

I still decided to take the chance and opened the door, Noah. 

“How did you get my number?” I asked, he shrugged “I know the right people, want to hang out and grab some coffee?” He asked kindly, I looked down to see I was still in my pajamas. 

“Uhm, let me change first?” “Oh, you’re fine, I like you better this way than your nun skirts anyway” He snorted. 

I rolled my eyes “Please don’t” I groaned, he chuckled. 

I quickly threw on something random I had in my closet and walked out the door, with Noah. 

I don’t know why but I felt eyes on me, a lot of eyes, just like everyone was staring at me and Noah, I don’t know why tho. 

“Black” He simply said once we got to the café, the man immediately knew, and he gave me a coffee with milk, just like always. 

“So..” I started “What?” He said as we sat down “Friends?” I asked him biting my lip, he took a breath, and nodded. 

“Friends” He smiled, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes, his eyes are still empty, no joy, nothing. 

“Why is everyone staring?” I asked him “Because I’m saying more than two words without biting your head off, I guess” He simply said. 

“Why is that?” I said taking a sip of my coffee “I’m not sure” He said also drinking from his. 

I wonder what is going on in his head, why he is so closed.


	9. Nine

“Where are you from?” I asked him “Don’t” He said, that’s all he ever said in our conversation, I’m trying to get to know him like, where is he from, what is his birthday, etc, all I get is ‘don’t’ 

“Why wont you talk?” I asked, afraid for him to get angry “Why must you be so annoying with all your questions? Why does it matter to you where I come from? Or what I like to eat? Why do you care?” He spat. 

I sighed “This was a mistake” I got up taking my bag, he groaned “Fine, see you later” “No, Noah” I said walking off, why does he always have to blow everything up? We were finally getting along and then he needs to do this. 

I just want a friend, some other than Isabelle and Alex, I don’t want to be alone always. 

I walked back to my dorm and got in, shutting the door behind me “Hey…” Isabelle said, I looked up at her “Oh, hey” I said awkwardly sitting down. 

“Sorry about yesterday, I didn’t think you’d freak out” She laughed “I didn’t know either” I said getting my school books getting ready to start studying. 

“I promise I won’t ask you again if you want to come to a party” She chuckled, I nodded not feeling like continuing this weird conversation, what can I say? ‘I was thinking about kissing Noah’ I can’t say that. 

I can’t even feel that, I shouldn’t let Noah be this much in my head, because I’ve never been interested in love, well, not that I wasn’t interested, I didn’t have time, and now I don’t either, so that’s it. 

Also, I’m not Noah’s type, and he’s not mine, he’s weird, an ass, a jerk, he doesn’t care about anyone but himself, he can’t talk properly without having to put a jerk tone, what is it about him that just attracts me to him?

The weekend went by quiet and quick, like it was 5 seconds, the only bad thing about the weekend is the loneliness, not having my dad around, or my friends from back home. I need to take time to find a friend or two. 

On Monday, I did what always did, get ready and go to class, Noah was nowhere to be found, but literally nowhere, I wonder what he’s doing right now, probably hanging out with some girl or even insulting someone. 

I can’t help but feel a bit jealous at my thoughts of him being with some other girl, why? I don’t even know him, I’ve seen him 5 times, how is it possible that I feel jealous? I’ve never been jealous. 

I didn’t even concentrate on the classes; all I could do was think about the brown- haired boy who never seemed to leave my mind.


	10. Ten

I finally arrived to my dorm, I heard talking “You don’t get it” I heard Isabelle groan, I walked in to see her sit on her bed with Noah, wait what? She says to stay away from him but she still talks to him? Does that even make sense? 

“Oh, hey” She said nervously, looking at Noah “I’m going to go” He quickly said taking his bag rushing out, I looked at her with a ‘what the heck was that’ face.

“He needed help with homework” She simply said, I guess I’m in no position to ask more questions, so I didn’t. 

I sat on my bed and started doing homework, what didn’t Noah get? Why was she talking to Noah? Why do I care so much that she was talking to Noah? 

I sighed trying to concentrate on my homework, but not succeeding, I got up again, going towards the door. 

“Where are you going?” Isabelle asked “Out, bye” I said walking out, I got back to the little burger restaurant to eat my spaghetti. 

Then Noah came in, shit, with his friends. 

I never actually saw his friends, didn’t even know he had friends, I noticed he spotted me but he didn’t come over, luckily. 

But his friends saw him looking over, so they came. Shit shit shit.

“Hey” Some guy said, I looked at him “Hey?” I asked confused “What’s your name?” He asked sitting down next to me, making me feel uncomfortable. 

“Ava” I yelped out trying to scoot over so he won’t be basically sitting on me, and he noticed so he shuffled closer. 

“Ethan leave her” Noah said, Ethan, I guess, started smirking “Jealous much?” He laughed. 

“The girl is uncomfortable” Another guy said “Thanks Lucas” Noah nodded. I smiled kindly at Lucas. 

And Ethan got up “Do you know this bitch?” Ethan said “I’m no bitch” I stood up for myself, making Noah look over to me, I think I saw worry in his eyes, but then again, he is emotionless so whatever. 

Ethan got closer again “Don’t talk to me” He hissed, now I know where Noah has got his attitude from “Don’t be a dick, let’s go” Lucas tried to get him away, but he didn’t. 

When he saw I didn’t back off, he grabbed my face forcing me to look in his eyes to intimidate me, I guess. 

But then he got ripped off of me, next thing I saw was Noah on top of him, throwing punches at his face, looking like he’s going to kill him.

“Noah get off!” Lucas tried to get him off, but not succeeding, I started panicking, Lucas looked at me like meaning I had to say or do something. 

“Noah..” I cracked out, I’m not sure if he even heard me, I guess I caught him off of guard because he looked at me and Lucas got to take him off of Ethan. 

He looked me straight dead in the eye, not even showing any emotion, just breathing heavily. 

I didn’t know what to do, so I did what I do the best, run away. 

And that’s what I did, I just ran out, and kept running not even looking back, afraid of Ethan, but even more. 

Afraid of the emotionless look in Noah’s eyes.


	11. Eleven

“Ava wait” Noah’s voice sounded behind me, I turned around “Why would you do that? He didn’t even do anything! Why would you beat him up because of me?” I yelled. 

“You think I did that to protect you!?” He spat out, I looked at him “What?” I said, taken back by this. 

“Two weeks ago, that asshole took advantage of a girl, he had it coming, I would never beat anyone up, just for you” He spat, I looked down “Oh…” That’s all I could say, as I let it sink in. 

“So, don’t flatter yourself” He said walking off, awesome. 

I turned around and started walking to my dorm, why do I always have to end up fighting with him? It’s like we can’t even be friends, I really don’t get why he always must pin me to the ground, me and my self-esteem. 

Once I got to my dorm, I didn’t say a word to Isabelle and went to bed, not even wanting to remember anything from this night, his emotionless face, his fists in a ball to punch Ethan in the face, Ethan taking advantage of a girl… Ugh. 

I kept trying to get to sleep but I couldn’t, so I just pulled an all-nighter, studying. 

Before I knew it, the alarm went off, I quickly turned it off rushing to the showers, after the amazing shower, that constantly went from boiling to freezing, I started putting on some loose pants and a plain t-shirt for today. 

What will happen today? What mean things will Noah say? If he even is around, I sighed while brushing my hair, I walked out to my dorm and left all things, taking a last glance in the mirror. 

I look awful, I didn’t sleep not even 2 minutes, I couldn’t, every time I closed my eyes I saw Noah beating the crap out of his supposed friend. 

“Woah” I heard someone say as I felt I bumped into someone, great “I’m so sorry” I awkwardly said looking up, it was Lucas, Noah’s friend. 

“That’s okay” He laughed out helping me up “Are you okay? I mean, after last night…” He asked, I shook my head “Don’t worry, I’m fine” I gave him a smile, not meaning it tho, I want to sleep. 

“Want to walk to class with me?” He asked “Okay” I smiled, we walked off, in silence. 

“So, where are you from?” “Nashville” I said quietly “Really?” He sounded surprised “Why so surprised?” I giggled “My father is actually from Nashville” He laughed “Oh, nice” I smiled. 

Once we got to class, we separated our ways, as I sat in my seat, the professor started to come in, it’s the same that had that comeback with Noah. 

When Noah walked in, I saw them talking to eachother, they seem like close close, I don’t know. 

I saw him pat his shoulder and Noah gave like this half fake smile, and then came up to me, and sat next to me. 

I groaned inside, not showing anything on the outside, not wanting to react to him and feed him some more. 

“You okay?” He whispered, I decided to ignore him, he doesn’t care anyways, the professor started to give his lesson, which I last night already read, so I knew what he was talking about. 

The day went on and on and on and literally never felt like it was going to end, until I finally hit my bed, I’ve never been so happy to touch my bed. 

I got in, only taking off my shoes, not even taking off my pants or anything. 

And tried to sleep, but you know when you are SO tired that you can’t even fall asleep? That’s what’s happening right now and I think I might go crazy, I still can’t sleep, and it’s getting worse. 

I still saw Noah every time I closed my eyes, his emotionless face, his anger that expressed his face punching his friend, I don’t know why this affected me so much, but for some reason it did, and it frightened me. 

And then everything slowly went black, finally being able to fall asleep…


	12. Twelve

“Ava!” Isabelle’s voice sounded across the room, making me jump awake “What!?” I panicked. 

“You’re late for class” She giggled, shit! I quickly got up dressing myself “Thanks!” I quickly said before throwing my hair in a ponytail, rushing to the bathrooms to at least wash my face, I sighed. 

I’ve never been late for any class, I looked at myself in the big mirror, dark circles around my eyes, same clothes as yesterday, I’m officially a mess. 

I took my bag that I already took with me from the dorm and ran off to class, when I came in, everyone looked at me, I quickly sat down in my seat slightly embarrassed, and grateful for the professor because he didn’t say anything. 

I’m not even awake yet, I opened my books putting it on the right page.

“How come you’re late?” Alex whispered in my ear, I looked over at him “I overslept” I quietly said, he nodded “Okay…” He said. 

After the class, I had a two hour gap, so I decided to go and have a coffee, because I really needed it, so there I was, sitting in a chair with my coffee in my hand staring, basically day dreaming. 

“Helloooo?” Noah asked, I looked up “Huh?” I asked him, he chuckled “I asked why you were late this morning to class, that’s weird of you” He nodded “You don’t know anything about me, and I overslept, I couldn’t sleep last night so I ended up sleeping really late” I sighed. 

“That sucks” He said taking a sip off his coffee “It does” I quietly said looking in my cup “You are also wearing the same as yesterday” He said, I tried do ignore him “And you put up your hair in a ponytail, it looks good on you” He said quietly, I looked up at him to see his cheeks reddish, is he blushing? 

“Uhm.. thanks? I guess” I awkwardly said “This was a bad idea” He mumbled “What? No-“ I said and then he got up, why always this!? 

“Noah…” I said getting up too, he looked at me “What?” He breathed out “Please sit back down with me” I asked, even begged if you ask me. 

He looked at me, shook his head and walked off, leaving me there, I swear I wanted to scream at him for always doing this, but then again, why would he stay with me? Why would I even care if he didn’t? 

This is just all so confusing, he is confusing, I decided to walk away too, not wanting to look pathetic in the café. 

I was just walking around the buildings when I saw Lucas, I smiled at him, and he immediately came “Hey beautiful!” He cheered “Please, have you seen me?” I laughed, he looked at me up and down “Yup, gorgeous” He said. 

I rolled my eyes “How are you?” I asked him “Fine, why wouldn’t I be?” “No reason, I was just asking to be polite” I shrugged. 

“Oh, sorry, I’m fine, and you?” He laughed, I nodded “Fine too” I smiled at him. 

“What are you doing here?” Noah’s voice sounded in the background.


	13. Thirteen

I quickly turned around "Just talking with Lucas" I mumbled, he looked at me and then at Lucas.

"You shouldn't be around here" he snaps "I remind you that I'm walking around because YOU decided to just walk away from me in the café" I snapped back going in his face.

He didn't look into my eyes, he just stood there "Don't be pathetic now" He chuckled "Noah" Lucas said.

I felt my heart break into million pieces, am I pathetic?

"You, shut the fuck up" He fired back at Lucas.

"I just wanted to talk with you, to be friends" I managed to crack out, he looked at me just so emotionless as the last times

"To be friends?" He snorted, I sighed "You know what? Fine, I'm done" I said fixing my shirt.

"What?" He said confused "Screw you" I said, for the first time ever "Screw me" He laughed out.

I glared at him and then I stormed off.

I despise him, I just wanted to be friendly, I don't get why he always have to like, push people away, I wanted to be friends, just friends, right?

I rushed to my next class, I sat down in my seat basically the first, just as always.

The day went on and on, and I was so glad that the day was finally over.

So when I got to my dorm, I called my dad, just to talk to him, I really do miss him, he told me about the typical town talk, about our neighbors fight, etc.

I was really glad that I was able to talk to my dad, to feel a bit of home here.

When I hung up, Isabelle came in "I want to talk to you" she said, I groaned.

"What? I already said that I won't talk to Noah, and I won't, he doesn't want to anyway" I said.

"No, it's not that, it's about Noah tho" she said sitting down on her bed.

"If you tell anybody, he'll kill me, so please don't" she laughed, I nodded carefully, afraid to know what she is going to say.

"Noah is kind of my family" she said biting her lip "what?" I asked shocked, I felt my jaw on the ground.

"Yeah... my dad is professor Smith" she bit her lip, I remembered Noah saying to him to not flatter himself just because he came to class.

"But he's my half brother, sort of, let's just leave it that he had problems with his parents so my dad adopted him, I dont really know more either" she nodded.

"Why are you telling me?" I asked confused.

"A couple of days ago he was here, he was asking all these weird questions and your name came up a couple of times, it was weird, he NEVER comes to talk to me, he doesn't talk to anybody, but he really seemed to need it, but I'm just saying this so you can understand kind of his behavior" she nodded.

"That doesn't give him a good reason to be such an asshole, because that's what he is, an asshole" I said crossing my arms, she laughed. 

"I know he is, I'm his half sister and I'm not proud of it, nobody knows this, so I hope you won't tell anyone, please" she begged

"I wont"


	14. Fourteen

After what Isabelle told me, I couldn't help but think about it and always repeating what she said.

What problems did he have with his parents? I just had all these questions, maybe he is like that because of his parents? I don't know, but I guess that I'll never know.

I sighed taking coffee to start my next day, not being ready and wanting more sleep, I'm really not sleeping as much as I used to, but hey, I'll take what I can get.

"Hey" I heard behind me, making me jump out of my thoughts "didn't mean to scare you" Lucas said sitting down next to me.

"I'm sorry for Noah's reaction yesterday, he really can be a dick sometimes" he laughed, I shrugged "it's okay" I said quietly.

I heard the door open causing me to look up, it was Noah and a girl, a pretty girl, long straight hair, a cute face.

She was kind of all over him, I quickly looked back down not wanting to stare.

"That's Lana, his sort of girlfriend" Lucas said, I looked at him "they just fuck" he laughed.

Ew, I couldn't help but feel a little jealousy, will he talk to her? Or doesn't he talk at all.

"He's coming" he mumbled, I groaned, I looked up but his girlfriend wasn't with him.

He sat down next to Lucas "Why is it that when I see you you're always together?" He said "don't you have a girlfriend to bother?" I fired back.

He looked over at me "oh, baby, I don't do girlfriends" he smirked, sending shivers down my spine.

The sound of the word 'baby' just came out of his lips so heavenly, I quickly snapped out of my daydream "well whatever it is" I muttered.

I tried my best to not look up at him not wanting any eye contact, still bothered by the fact that he called me pathetic yesterday.

"Earth to nun" he said, I glared up at him "Ava" I corrected "Nun" he stated.

"Say it again, screw you" he mocked me, making my blood boil again "Noah, don't start this with me, not now" I snapped getting up.

"If you weren't such a girly girl you wouldn't be so butt hurt with everything" he snapped back, "oh really? So I'm a girly girl?" I got in his face again just like yesterday, knowing I wont win this fight.

He nodded "I get butt hurt?" I asked, he slowly leaned towards me, I almost thought I felt his breath on my face "so easily" he breathed out.

If I wasn't so angry right now, I would of have backed away, but I felt my blood boil, I couldn't seem to stop myself, even feel my shyness that I always have in me.

"If you weren't such an ass I wouldn't be so butt hurt everytime you have to open that darned mouth of yours" I hissed, he smiled softly, why the heck is he smiling?

"My darned mouth huh" he chuckled coming closer, leaning in my ear, breathing in it, when I thought it couldn't be worse...

"You really don't know what for amazing things my darned mouth can do" he whispered in my ear, then Lucas awkwardly cleared his throat, making me come back to earth and push him off of him.

"Pervert!" I almost yelled, he smirked holding up his hands "maybe I meant eating ice cream, who is the pervert now?" He said, the smirk never leaving his face as he walked off, clearly satisfied.

"I hate him!" I shrieked, making Lucas laugh at me "Don't worry, I'm sure you are not the only one" he laughed.

Then it hit me, what the heck did just happen?


	15. Fifteen

“What happened?” Isabelle said when I came in the dorm all pissed and panicking. 

“I don’t really know” I said trying to keep calm, not wanting to speak to her about what just happened, what did happen? I flirted with Noah, I guess. 

I sat down on my bed taking off my shoes “I’m going to try to do some homework” I said not wanting to keep conversating, I took my books and just stared at them, having flashbacks. 

"If you weren't such an ass, I wouldn't be so butt hurt every time you have to open that darned mouth of yours" I hissed, he smiled softly, why the heck is he smiling?  
"My darned mouth huh" he chuckled coming closer, leaning in my ear, breathing in it, when I thought it couldn't be worse...  
"You really don't know what for amazing things my darned mouth can do"

I remember shivering, feeling his breath in my ear, I don’t know what would of have happened if Lucas didn’t clear his throat, I don’t really want to know. 

And with Noah in my head, I drifted off to dreamland. 

“Ava! Your alarm didn’t go!” I heard Isabelle, I shot up “Again?” I groaned, not feeling well at all “Yes, hurry you’ll be late” She said, I shook my head “Not today” I mumbled. 

“You okay?” She asked sitting down with me feeling my forehead “You have fever Ava” She said softly, I groaned “Not again” I said hiding my face in my sheets. 

“You have fever usually?” She asked, I looked at her “When I’m starting my period” I said awkwardly “Oh, that sucks” She nodded. 

“I’ll tell everyone you’re sick” She said “Thanks” I mumbled. 

I hate my period, I hate my fevers, I hate being sick, I hate missing classes but right now I just couldn’t get myself to get up and go to class. 

I decided to text my dad just to tell him, feeling bad I’m missing classes, he texted me back immediately saying that it’s okay, that he knows how hard it can be on me, so that calmed me down. 

I drifted back to sleep, slowly. 

“Mom! Mom!” I yelled out at my mother, watching her leave me behind, with a new man “She’s not coming back baby” My dad said rubbing my back “Mom…” I cried on my knees “Hey it’s okay, I’m here” My dad softly said. 

“I don’t want you I want mommy” I cried out running to my room, “Ava!” 

“AVALYNN” I didn’t stop running, why is my room so far away? I kept running running running until I didn’t feel my feet, in the back hallway that I’ve never seen before. 

“Ava” I heard a voice. “Ava” I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder, causing me to jump. 

“Ava” I shot awake, only to see Noah, I was breathing heavily “You okay?” He said, I looked at him “What are you even doing here?” I said catching my breath, sitting up. 

“I didn’t see you in class, I figured… just because… you never miss one class, you know, I don’t know” He said uncomfortably scratching the back of his neck. 

“I’m fine, I’m just having fever” I said weakly “Do you need something?” He said, this is the first time we talk this much without fighting, wow, 2 full minutes without fighting. 

I shook my head “Thank you” I said curling back into a little ball, trying to get the pain in my tummy away. 

He sat with me, he didn’t say anything, he just sat there, staring, I guess he wasn’t sure what to do next, or maybe he was thinking about his next insult.


	16. Sixteen

“You’re going to wake her up” I heard loud whispers “I have to go, I can’t be here, not like this” Noah whispered back and then I felt my head fall into my pillow, was I cuddling with him? 

“What do you mean?” “Drop it Isa” I heard Noah snap quietly “You shouldn’t be such a dick to her, I think she even likes you for some weird reason” She snapped back, what!? 

Noah didn’t answer, but I did hear the door bang, that caused me to jump.   
“Sorry” Isabelle whispered “That’s okay” I said quietly drifting back to sleep. 

“Ava? I’m leaving” I heard Isabelle whisper in my ear, I sat up “It’s Saturday right?” I said rubbing my eyes “Yeah” She chuckled “Thanks, see you” I said, getting up, and just in my pajamas I went to the bathroom, to you know, do my girl things. 

When I finished, I thought about laying back in my bed, but then I remembered that yesterday I didn’t eat anything, so I went to my dorm and just pulled on some sweatpants and a tank top, and my hair in a ponytail. 

And I walked to my favorite restaurant, because I only know one around, and ordered my spaghetti. 

While I waited, I swear I wanted to die, my head was pounding, I was freezing, and I felt like I was going to pass out, I’m glad I ordered to take out. 

“Here you go, are you okay?” The waitress said, I nodded “Thanks” I smiled and walked back to my dorm with my box of spaghetti, not even sure that I’ll make it to my dorm. 

“Ava! Didn’t see you in class yesterday” I heard Lucas, I jumped “Gosh you scared me!” I shrieked “Sorry, hey are you okay?” he said taking my spaghetti out of my hands. 

“I’m just not feeling well” I said looking down at my shaking hands “I see that” He said “Let me walk you to your dorm” He said taking my arm so I could lean my arm on his shoulder while we walked back to my dorm. 

“What do you have?” He asked “Just a fever, nothing big” I mumbled, once we got there, I sat down on my bed and started eating my spaghetti “You look like you haven’t eaten” Lucas laughed “I haven’t” I chuckled. 

“You want to hang out?” Lucas asked, I shrugged, I guess I can’t lay in my bed for the whole weekend “She can’t, she needs to rest” Noah’s voice sounded in my dorm. 

“You are not my father” I hissed “Lucas go” Noah snapped, Lucas looked at me and then walked away, why would he listen to Noah!? “What the heck is your problem!?” I yelled. 

“You need to rest” He calmly said shutting the door behind him “Yeah, so leave” I said going back to eat my spaghetti “I’m not leaving, I’m going to make sure you’re fine” “Yesterday you didn’t have a problem leaving” I shot at him. 

“Hey, I didn’t have to stay, you’re to annoying to be with” He said “Oh wow, thanks” I rolled my eyes, he groaned “I’m trying not to fight, please don’t challenge me right now” He said. 

I sighed not looking up from my spaghetti, when I finished it, I threw my box away and left my fork clean on the desk, and then I sat down by the desk taking my books “What are you doing now?” Noah groaned. 

“I missed classes yesterday, you didn’t expect me to do nothing to fix that right?” I said, “Don’t be such a controlling freak, you’ll be fine” He said shutting my books “Could you for one minute, just one, not call me annoying, freak or pathetic!?” I yelled getting up. 

But I got up too quick, making me feel dizzy, I held my head groaning, he quickly rushed over and laid me on my bed “See, you should just rest” He mumbled tucking me in. 

“You should stop being mean” I glared at him, he chuckled “I can’t help it” He shrugged. 

His half smile on his face almost melted my heart, I looked in his eyes, wondering if he would make eye contact with me too, and he did, I slowly started to lean in, and he did the same, confusion flashed in his eyes, he wasn’t sure what was about to happen, but then again, neither did I, I’ve never done this. 

When our lips almost touched, the confusion changed to panic, this can’t be good, he quickly pulled away “What the fuck are you doing?” He got up from my bed “I…” I looked down. 

“I don’t like you, Ava” He snapped “Neither do I, I don’t know why I did that I-“

And then I was interrupted by the door slamming closed. Great.


	17. Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! 
> 
> I know nobody ever reads those but hey, it's worth a try.   
If you like this work, please do vote and/or comment. 
> 
> Thank you!

I don’t know why, but I busted out crying, not being able to hold it in any longer, why would I just ruin it like that? Deep inside I knew that we were going nowhere, why did I lean in? I’m stupid, I’m a stupid cow. 

Then someone banged on the door, I tried to dry my tears quickly pulling myself together, I decided to ignore it, then Noah stormed in, I guess he has a key? 

“Noah” I panicked getting up trying to act strong “What are you doi-“ I said and then he crushed his lips against mine backing me up against the door, his fresh minty breath mixes with mine, and I gladly open my mouth to welcome his warm tongue on mine. 

I felt his hand on my lower back, feeling tingling in my lady parts, I slowly tried to pull back “No” He breathed coming closer not letting me break the kiss, he took my legs pulling them around his waist. 

“Noah…” I breathed against his lips, feeling him smirk, he laid me on the bed, and when I thought it was going too far, he left me, leaving me feeling the cold of his body leaving mine. 

I was breathing heavily, when he sat down on the bed with me “Rest” He chuckled, “why did you come back? Why did you leave in the first place?” I breathed out “Hey, we just kissed, don’t think you’re allowed to ask all those annoying questions of yours, nun” he smirked. 

“Noah” I groaned, I heard him laugh, what I think is for the first time since I know him, that instantly made me smile “You have a nice laugh” I said quickly, regretting it the moment that it left my mouth, because the wonderful noise stopped. 

“Sorry” I mumbled sitting up with him “That’s okay…” He said “Can I ask a question?” He said quietly “if I can ask one too” I chuckled, he groaned “Not then” “Okay fine fine, ask” I laughed. 

“What was that nightmare about?” He almost whispered, I looked down, should I tell him, I guess…

“My mom… she left when I was little I sometimes dream about that, only when I’m sick” I chuckled “I know, it’s weird I’m still with that in my head, but I know that even tho she’s a… bad person, I miss her” I looked down. 

“It’s okay to miss her, she’s your mother after all, Avalynn” He quietly said, I looked up at him “You know my full name?” I smirked, he smirked too “I have my contacts” He chuckled. 

“Are you sure I can’t ask any questions? Not even one?” I laughed, he shook his head “No” He groaned, I didn’t insist more, knowing that he’ll freak out and end up leaving, just like every time we are talking. 

“Fine” I smiled “are you better?” He asked, referring to my fever, I nodded laying down on my bed. 

“I think I am” I smiled, and then Isabelle walked in with Alex, I looked at them, Noah quickly jumped up “Hi” Noah said, Alex was already glaring at him, and Isabelle had a confused look on her face. 

“What is happening here?” She said “I was just checking up on her, no biggie” He scratched the back of his neck, he looked over at me, clearly not wanting me to talk, but honestly, I didn’t want too, just like he said, it was just a kiss, just like he kisses everyone.   
“I was going to go” Noah said “Yes, I think you were” Alex said throughout his teeth, oh geez. 

Noah got in his face “Don’t start this with me, nerd” He hissed in his face “Guys” Isabelle warned “Bite me” Alex said “What is your fucking problem?” Noah said pushing him away, when Alex got closer to him. 

“Alex don’t challenge him” Isabelle said “Get away from my friend, and don’t come near her again” Alex said, almost going in Noah’s face, he really does want to die. 

Noah just dryly punched him in the jaw, again, no emotion. 

He looked at me and then at Isabelle “Tell your boyfriend to mind his own fucking damned business Isa” He spat out, glaring at Alex who was touching his jaw “See you, nun” He said dryly walking out slamming the door. 

“I told you not to challenge him” Isabelle argued with Alex, and then they started fighting. 

“He’s a prick, don’t let him near Ava” “You shouldn’t be making choices for Ava, she’s old enough to make her own” “You know him Isa” “You know him, Alex, and if he wants something, he’ll get it, not caring for anything, nor you” She said. 

“Are you defending him?” Alex said shocked “No, I’m not, but I’m also not on your side when you’re acting like such a child” She said crossing her arms. 

Alex nodded, obviously offended, and walked out slamming the door. 

“Sorry about that” She said frustrated “Why is he so against him?” I bit my lip “That’s kind of… a long story” She nodded. 

I waited patiently for her to tell me, and I guess she saw because she laughed “Fiiiine” She laughed out sitting with me on my bed. 

I’m ready for the tea.


	18. Eighteen

“A couple of months ago, we were just chilling, me and Alex” She said, I bit my lip, wondering what he had done “And suddenly, we heard Noah scream, but scream, I was at home, Noah sleeps at home with my dad because he always, always has nightmares and if he sleeps in a dorm than everyone knows that he has nightmares and he doesn’t want that” 

Woah. 

“Well, that being said, he began screaming, but screaming like crazy so I went to his room to see what the fuck was happening, and he was screaming, curled up in a ball, sweating so I went and tried to wake him up, I yelled for him and he didn’t wake up, so I decided to wake him up shaking him, and I got hit” She said biting her lip. 

“It was nothing! And I’m sure he didn’t mean to do it, he was asleep, but Alex saw and yeah, since then he’s sort of angry at him” She shrugged “So, do you get along with Noah?” I asked curiously. 

“What? No, just having someone scream at the top of his lungs, it isn’t pleasant to hear, but my dad is used to it, he has nightmares every day” She laughed, that’s not funny “He’s a dick, and an asshole and I can’t stand him” She laughed. 

“And what are his nightmares about?” I asked, she shrugged “I have no idea” She said “He has never opened up to me”

“If you can make him, go ahead, but I doubt he will ever open up about something like that” She laughed, I chuckled “I know” I said nodding. 

“Let’s go out tonight?” She said “I’m not sure…” I mumbled “I’m not well, not even mentioning my stupid period” I laughed “Come oooon” She groaned “Pleeeeaseee” She begged. 

I’m so going to regret this. 

“Fine!” I surrendered, she cheered running to her closet “Here put this on!” She threw a white dress on my bed and then a black jacket with some black heels.

“That dress is too short!” I groaned “Come on Ava, live a little” Isabelle groaned, I rolled my eyes “Fine” I mumbled looking at the clock. 

Is it already that late? I decided to go shower first, before I got ready, and that’s what I did, I showered, and brushed my hair just as always, letting it curl naturally, I put on a little eyeliner from Isabelle that she gave me and some mascara. 

I looked in the mirror, and my reflection was just the opposite of what I am, or what I was, I sighed trying to pull down the dress, I walked back to my room awkwardly hoping no one will see me. 

“Ava! You look beautiful” Alex cheered once I got in the room “I know that dress from somewhere” Isabelle said with a smirk on her face “It’s not funny, please stop” I groaned “Fiiiine” They both said rolling their eyes at the same time. Weird much? 

I laughed at the weird sight of them saying and doing exactly the same thing the same time.   
“Let’s partyyyyyy!” Alex yelled running out, I quickly pulled the uncomfortable heels on, yes, I came barefoot to my room, I’m just like that and walked out, careful to not break any bone. 

I walked after them, will Noah be there? Probably, right? I began to feel nervous at the thought of seeing Noah again after our kiss, yes it was just a kiss I know, I shouldn’t be so excited but honestly? It was the first kiss I’ve had, and for me it was pretty okay.

We went with the car, which means that I won’t be home before them, yay, let’s hope I won’t freak out like the last time. 

“There’s a jacuzzi, did you get a swimsuit?” Alex asked Isabelle “No, who even gets in that shit” She laughs in the front of the car “Well, couples to have sex” Alex said, making me choke on my own spit. 

They both looked at me and busted out laughing “Oh Ava, so innocent” Isabelle laughed shaking her head “Shut up” I mumbled. 

Who even wears white when they are on their period? I suddenly thought, crap crap crap! I’m so stupid. 

After my little panicking moment, I realized we were there, have I been panicking for that long? I got out the car after Isabelle, and we walked in, the music busting almost making me deaf, the scent of alcohol fills my nose, gross. 

We walked out to the patio sort weird thing and there it was, the jacuzzi, hey there was even a couple in, and that’s when I recognized her. 

It was Noah and his girlfriend, her straddling him with no problem, she even had her clothes on, well, clothes, what even was that? 

I just stood there.

“Ava” I heard Isabelle call me in my ear, but I couldn’t respond, was he really having sex or whatever with her? After kissing me?


	19. Nineteen

"Ava?" Isabelle said, almost panicked, once she saw what I was seeing, she sighed "God damn you Noah" She said under her breath. 

I took a deep breath "Let's party" I said walking back in and took the first bottle of alcohol that I could get my hands on, not even knowing what it was, I began drinking from it.

Everyone around me began cheering "DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK" I heard all around me, and I kept drinking, I didn't know if the bottle was full when I got it, but now it's empty, I put it roughly back on the counter looking for another one.

"Ava chill" Alex said, I glared at him taking another bottle "I'm partying" I laughed out, but we all knew I wasn't, I was trying to drown the vision that I saw a couple of minutes ago.

Thinking back about it, I decided that it was best to just keep drinking, why even be a control freak? I have nothing under control right now, so why not have fun? 

Alex and Isabelle knew it was time to shut up, so they did, they didn't say anything they just cheered with the rest for me to drink more, so I did.

After I had a half bottle down, of the burning liquor that tastes like my cologne, I put it down on the counter too, walking off.

I felt the world spin around me, the music was overwhelming me, but this is supposed to be fun right? I guess I was over thinking again when I bumped into someone.

"Sorry sir" I slurred "Ava?" Lucas laughed, "Heeeey" I giggled, he looked at me confused, knowing I was tipsy, but scared to ask.

"I need air" I yelled in his ear and walked out.

"Are you okay?" Lucas said, once we were outside "Oh, me? I'm perfectly fine, no worries" I laughed "I think you are drunk, and you're not the type to drink" He laughed.

"Oh, I'm not the type to drink, because I'm a nun, right? And a control freak and a pathetic bitch" I said, before I could think, it just slipped.

"Woah woah, I never said anything about you being anything you just said, I just meant that it looks like you're over the college parties and all" Lucas said.

"Well I'm not, so feel free to go away if you are over the college parties" "I'm the one who throws them" Lucas laughed "Oh" that's all I could say.

"What are you guys doing together?" I heard Noah's voice, the blood started to boil again, feeling vulnerable but most of all, angry, angry as hell.

"Whatever you are not, prick" I threw at him "THAT is what this is about, I get it now" Lucas laughed.

"Go" Noah hissed "yeah Lucas, go, listen to big boss Noah" I said crossing my arms, Lucas looked at Noah, and seeing he looked like he was going to lose his shit, he left.

"What is your problem?" He said "I thought we were fine" He added.

"No, Noah, you are fine, you think everything is fine, you know what is not fine? Kissing me and the other moment being in the fucking jacuzzi with that fucking bitch and fucking-" 

"Ava" "No, listen you asshole, I won't be your toy-" "I don't do girlfriends, what did you expect? Really?" He just said simply.

I glared at him "Well you wont be doing me" I said trying to walk off but he grabbed me by the wrist "I wont be doing you? What does that mean?" He said.

"Let go" I snapped in his face, when I saw he didn't, I decided that it was best just to try to fight him off.

So I started to try wiggling out his grasp "Noah let go!" I yelled at him, loud, and his grip tightened.

"I already told you I don't do girlfriends, you wont be special Ava, I like to fuck, and I like to make out, but I don't like you, and I will never, ever like you, so dont come to me with your shit that I was with another girl, I dont have to deal with that kind of shit" He said, straight to my face, without even showing any emotion, or regret, he isn't saying this because he is mad.

He is saying this because he means it, and then he let go off of me "Get a grip on your self, and when you do, I'll make you feel real good" He smirked.

I didn't know what I was doing, but I surely knew that I was close to crying, and I wasn't going to let him see that what he said had just affected me.

"Rot in hell" I snapped walking past him, purposely bumping my shoulder on his.

And I went back to what I did best tonight.

Drink.


	20. Twenty

I stormed back inside immediately taking a bottle, but when I took it, someone grabbed it out of my hand.

"Alcoholic much?" Noah smirked "Asshole much?" I said crossing my arms, the music still almost louder than my thoughts.

"You could say so" He smirked "Oh my God I'm going to be sick" I said grabbing my stomach feeling my dinner coming up again. 

"Fuck Ava really?" Noah groaned, and then it went away "nope, I'm fine" I smiled, falsely and tried to walk off "let me take you to your dorm" he said grabbing my wrist again. 

"I'm partying, haven't you noticed?" I snapped "let's go" he strictly said, I rolled my eyes walking after him.

"You are annoying" I said once we got out and the music started fading "Yeah so are you, you can't even party" He sighed "You are a party pooper, I was doing fine before you had to force me to get out of there" I said stopping forcing my wrist out of his grip.

"Stop fighting me, Ava" He breathed out, as close to my face as possible, for a minute I thought of kissing him, wanting his warm soft lips on mine, I wouldn't ask for anything else, but I couldn't.

I wriggled and I got out of his grip, I walked to his car, and he followed.

"Why, 'dont you do girlfriends'?" I mocked him, he groaned "Because I think you dont have to stay with one person, why?" "Because you are in love?"

"In love? Love doesn't exist, it's all in your head, you don't need someone to live for, or even with" he shrugged.

"Love does exist, one thing is that you don't want it, I'm sure someone loves you, even if it's yourself"

"Love is bullshit, marriage is bullshit, everything is bullshit" He said starting to get frustrated "The heart was made to love" I blurted out.

"The heart was made to be broken" He snapped, I looked at him "Did someone break yours?" I asked him.

He opened his car and got in, I didn't doubt but get in also, knowing he would leave anyways.

"Did someone break yours?" I repeated "just shut up" he groaned "Did someone break yours?" I asked again "No, Ava" He finally said.

"Then how do you even know?" I said, he drove off "Just because, now please just shut up" He roughly said, I nodded knowing where it would finish if I didn't.

I'm surprised we talked this much, but the heart was made to be broken? That's not true, I know the heart wasn't made to love, but it makes more sense.

Before I knew it, I drifted off to sleep.

The next thing I knew was that it was 6 a.m and I was laying in my bed with the same dress on, crap! My pad.

I quickly got up feeling thirsty, I decided to ignore that but go to the bathroom first, when I did my lady business. I got back to my room and drank some water.

And then I changed into my pajamas and laid back in my bed picking up my phone to see if someone texted me and I had a text of Noah.

"Your ass fell asleep in my car, if I let you sleep in there you had to pay rent, so I decided to lay you on your bed, night nun"

I chuckled, as nice as always.

I texted him thanking him and put down my phone and drifted back to sleep.


	21. Twenty - One

“Avaaa” I heard Isabelle groan, I jumped up “Huh?” “Your phone” She mumbled in her pillow, I groaned looking at the time, 9 a.m? 

It was my dad, I decided to pick up, because I knew that if I didn’t, he was going to get worried.

He was just checking up in me to make sure I was alright, we talked about the classes I missed with my fever and he was happy to hear I was fine, I decided to not tell him I went to a party and got drunk because I made out with a guy that later on had sex with someone in a jacuzzi. 

Then he hung up, because he had washing to do, I sighed putting my phone down, I guess it’s time to start the day.

I got my clothes and walked to the showers, I got in and let the warm water relax my muscles, the headache I had slowly faded. 

When I finished showering, I put on my clothes and brushed my hair, and when I got my stuff back into my dorm, I went off to get my coffee, I got there and the smell of the coffee filled my nose. 

After ordering and getting my coffee, I took a seat and try to relax a little bit, hoping no one will talk to me, then I heard someone clear their throat, ugh, really? 

“How’s your hangover?” Lucas said sitting down “I don’t have a hangover” I rolled my eyes drinking my coffee “You were pretty drunk yesterday” He laughed “You didn’t bring Noah, right? I really don’t feel like talking to hi-“ “Talking to who?” Noah appeared. 

“Hi” I said awkwardly looking up at him, Lucas mouthed ‘sorry’, I shrugged it off “You remember anything?” Noah laughed sitting down too “I remember everything, thank you” I rolled my eyes. 

“Your eyes will stay that way someday” He said “Who are you? My father?” I glared at him “Hey, be nice, I could of have left you sleeping on the bench in front of your dorm” He pointed out “Oh wow, thank you very much for doing something a normal person would do” I smiled falsely, he smirked. 

“You’re welcome nun” He said “You should really stop calling her nun” Lucas said awkwardly “You should really shut the fuck up” Noah snapped, not back at this “Hey” I raised my voice. 

They both looked at me and I backed down slowly “Sorry” I said blushing, Noah smirked and glared at Lucas “I’ll call her whatever I want” He said, I looked at Lucas as in saying that it was okay and to leave it. 

Weren’t they supposed to be friends? “Noah!” I heard a guy call out, it was a redhead, never seen him before “Justin” Noah said getting up giving him like a bro high five, I guess. 

“Who is this precious girl?” He said, I couldn’t help but look at Noah and catch him glaring at this Justin guy, “Ava, nice to meet you” I smiled getting up giving him a hand, but he pulled me in a hug instead surprising me. 

When he pulled back, I awkwardly went back to my seat “You are not the type to hang out with Noah” He laughed “Dude, I’m right here” Noah snapped, Justin laughed “Relax, I’m kidding, sorta” He smirked at him.

“I don’t hang out with Noah, I hang out with Lucas” I said drinking of my coffee “That explains it” Justin nodded sitting down with us. 

“Where is Lana?” Justin asked “Gone” Noah said, and then Ethan walked in “Fuck no” Noah breathed out “What’s wrong?” Justin smirked “Yoo!” Ethan said sitting down immediately, I awkwardly shifted in my seat. 

They started to talk about I guess boys business, what car each has and what car they don’t or want, then about a party next Tuesday, stuff like that. 

“Let’s go?” Noah said in my ear, I looked at him and nodded, I got up and so did Noah “Where do you think you are going?” Justin chuckled “Away” I said “I thought you didn’t hang out with Noah?” Justin smirked “Oh girl, you’re going to get your little heart broken” Ethan said ‘frowning’. 

“Shut the fuck up or your face will be broken” Noah snapped “Noah not now” I quietly said, he looked at me and his face changed, he looked angry a few seconds ago, now I don’t know what his face expressed. 

“Let’s go” Noah said taking my wrist storming out “What’s wrong with you? You’re hurting me!” I whined once we got outside rubbing my wrist “Sorry” He sighed.


	22. Twenty - Two

“Why can’t we sit with your friends?” I asked him “Because they are not your friends” He said, I looked at him “But they came to sit with me” I said starting to get irritated “To challenge me” He said shrugging. 

“Why would they ‘challenge you’?” I mocked “Because they see me hanging out with you, don’t you think they fucked Lana?” He said making me feel disgusted, so they are just talking to me to get in my pants? Lucas too? 

“So whatever you have going on with Lucas, if you don’t want sex then stop talking” He added, “Why do you think I don’t want to have sex with Lucas?” I quickly said, he looked at me. 

“You do?” He asked, I bit my lip not sure what to answer, obviously I don’t want sex with Lucas, but I just don’t want him to think he can tell me what to do. 

“Well, then do whatever the fuck you want” He said coldly “Why won’t you ever look at someone in the eyes?” I blurted out, he groaned “I’m so sick of your stupid questions” “I’m sick of you not answering” I said crossing my arms. 

“Why won’t you answer any questions?” I said frustrated “Why won’t you stop asking them?” He said, I rolled my eyes walking off “Wait” He said running after me. 

But I didn’t stop, knowing this wasn’t going anywhere “Ava!” He kept calling, when he reached me, he took my wrist, once again and he pulled me to him. 

“Leave me alone” I raised my voice “Why do you want to know all these things? Does it even matter why I won’t look in people’s eyes?” He said softly “For me it does, I don’t know anything about you, and I think it’s important” I shrugged. 

“Why would you want to get to know me?” He breathed out basically against my face, I tried to hold my breath “Huh?” He said getting closer. 

“I…I…” I stuttered, he smirked brushing his lips against mine, I swear that I wanted to pull back, and that I know he is changing subjects and is playing me, but I just couldn’t, I couldn’t pull away. 

But he did it for me, he pulled away “Not here” He said, I looked at him confused “Not anywhere, what are you talking about?” I glared at him “You didn’t say that like a few seconds ago” He said, I rolled my eyes. 

“Let’s hang” He said “Hang where?” I said “At your dorm?” He said, I shrugged “Okay” I said and walked to the building, once we got in, I made sure Isabelle wasn’t there, not wanting her to ask any questions. 

“Okay so” I said closing the door “What?” He said sitting down on my bed, I sat down with him “Why won’t you look at anybody in the eyes?” I asked again “Ava” He groaned “No, please” I said softly, he got back up walking to the door. 

“You are never going to answer anything, right?” I said, slightly disappointed looking down “Right” He mumbled and opened the door “Wait, don’t go” I said, but then I realized how pathetic I sound “Nevermind” I shook my head. 

And he walked out, not looking back, he is just impossible to handle, I’ve never had such problems talking to anyone, only with him, he can’t just even tell me what his favorite color is, even if that’s just something you talk about with your friends. 

What if he has such problems opening up to someone because something has happened before? 

Thousands of ‘what ifs’ came into my head, every scenario ever, but I figured that I couldn’t do anything about it, so I decided it was best to study, since it has been a little while that I had a ‘normal’ study time. 

I really hope he someday opens up to me.


	23. Twenty - Three

“So, how’s Noah?” Isabelle asked once she got inside “What? Why would you ask that?” I asked quickly “I guess you two hung out so…” 

“You are never going to answer anything, right?” I said, slightly disappointed looking down “Right” He mumbled and opened the door “Wait, don’t go” I said, but then I realized how pathetic I sound “Nevermind” I shook my head. 

I tried to push away the flashback and the pain I felt right after that moment “We don’t hang out” I said, as if I was defending myself “Hey, not attacking you” Isabelle said, I groaned “I know” I said getting up closing my books. 

“It’s just hard” I mumbled quietly, not wanting her to even hear me “What is?” She asked from behind, I sighed looking back “Noah is” I said looking down “Yeah.. he’s quite a difficult person” She laughed.

“I’m just going to cut him off” I nodded, she looked at me and raised her perfect eye brow “What?” I said, having the necessity to defend myself yet again, she threw her hands in the air “Nothing, let’s go eat” “Fine, but Noah’s name is now allowed” I said, she nodded. 

I smiled and looked at myself in the mirror, I guess it’ll do “Let’s go get a hamburger?” She said, I nodded “Kay” I shrugged walking out with her, the walk was quiet, I guess we just had one subject to talk about, Noah. 

Once we got there, we ordered, I of course ordered a spaghetti and she ordered a hamburger with fries, we sat down at the table which was obviously too big to be just us two, but hey. 

“So, you come to a burger place, to order spaghetti?” She laughed, I nodded laughing taking a sip from my water “You’re out of your mind” She said, still laughing “Hey” I pouted, she chuckled trying to stop from laughing.

And then the doorbell thingy went off, letting us know there were probably more students, I almost didn’t dare to even look at the door I really just hope it’s not- 

“Girls” Justin’s voice sounded right next to me, I looked up only to see Noah’s friends, perfect “Uhm, hey?” Isabelle said “Can we join?” Lucas asked, I couldn’t help to think about the painful words Noah said.

“Because they see me hanging out with you, don’t you think they fucked Lana?”

Before I could even say something, Isabelle already said they were allowed, Gosh, why can’t I have just a normal dinner? Lucas sat down next to me “How did it turn out with Noah?” Justin asked with a smirk on his face. 

“Good” I managed to say, then I felt Lucas his hand on my thigh, making me feel really but like really uncomfortable, I looked down at his hand and then at his face and I shoved his hand off frowning. 

Noah was right, my subconscious tried to say, he can’t be right, he just can’t. Lucas is my friend. 

“Right, Ava?” I heard Isabelle say, I looked up at her confused “Yeah, right” I said quietly, then my spaghetti finally arrived “You order spaghetti in a burger place?” Justin snorted. 

“What is your deal about it?” I heard his cold and empty voice, I didn’t even look up at him, I couldn’t “Oh, here you are” Justin said “We’re waiting for Josh to come” Lucas explained to him, he nodded and sat down over me, forcing me to look at him. 

Of course, not making any eye contact, I rolled my eyes at my subconscious kicking in again. 

I just continued eating, not even wanting to be in their company, and then the bell rung again, I looked up this time, I guess this is Josh, but he’s with someone. 

Lana. 

I sighed quietly hoping nobody heard me, they soon came to the table, Lana immediately sat down next to Noah “Hey, you must be Alba” She said with the biggest fake smile of them all “Ava” I corrected her “It’s the same, jeez” She rolled her eyes. 

I bit my lip nodding “Sure, whatever you say” I mumbled, then Lana leaned against Noah, only for him to put his arm around her waist pulling her closer whispering things in her ear, I could feel my face heat up while the jealousy fills my body. 

Ava stop, you aren’t allowed to be jealous, you don’t have feelings for this asshole remember? You shouldn’t be bothered with him having this slu- I mean Lana here with him.

And I felt Lucas his hand again on my thigh, I sighed dropping my fork on my plate, making way too much noise, I didn’t even look up, but I guess he figured because he put his hand away. 

He came closer “Sorry I’m trying to comfort you” He whispered in my ear, see? He doesn’t want to get in your pants, I nodded giving him a smile, then Noah cleared his throat “So” Noah said “You’re with Lucas, nun?” He smirked. 

I didn’t answer him and just kept eating “Or who are you fucking?” He snapped, and then Isabelle threw her fork on her plate getting up “What the fuck is wrong with you Noah!?” She yelled at his face. 

“Isabelle it’s okay” I said quietly not wanting to cause a scene, I looked up hoping to see a slight of regret in his face, but who am I kidding? He was smirking. I rolled my eyes and got up. 

“I’m not hungry anymore, thank you for the good company, some of you” I smiled and walked off “I’m so sorry” Isabelle groaned “I’m used to it Isabelle” “Please call me Isa” She said softly, I nodded. 

“I will” I smiled “Let’s go somewhere else?” She said “Oh no, I’m fine, I’m not really that hungry anymore” I said as we started walking back to our dorm “I’m really sorry” She sighed “Isa, I will be fine” I chuckled. 

“It’s not like he insulted me” I added “He called you a slut, basically” She said trying to prove a point “Just, please leave it” I said nodding, she sighed “Fine, but I will kick his ass” She mumbled, when we got to our dorm Alex was sitting on her bed. 

“Hey, where were you?” He said “Having dinner” She said sitting with him on the bed. 

I quietly took my pajamas and went out to the bathroom, I changed into my pajamas and got back in the room, they were making out, gross. But then again, didn’t I just make out a couple of days before with Noah? 

I rolled my eyes at myself, can’t I think about nothing else then him? I got in my bed and tried to get some sleep, trying to block out the kissing noises. 

It took me a while, but I finally managed to fall asleep.


	24. Twenty - Four

I woke up from my stomach aching, indicating me that I was hungry, well that’s a way of waking up. 

I got out my bed quietly looking over to see Isabelle, I mean, Isa laying on top of Alex cuddling, I smiled a bit, I never wished to have love, but now I kind of do, I mean, what does it feel like to have someone wanting to cuddle you?   
I shook the thought out of my head and walked to my closet, pulling out some comfortable pants and just a tank top, and then my alarm went, I quickly turned it off hoping I didn’t wake my roommate.

When I looked back over, they were still sound asleep, phew. 

I got my bag and walked into campus, as I got closer to my first class, I got already pissed off thinking about Noah being there, as I walked to class, I heard two voices. 

“You screamed harder tonight” I heard my professor mumble “Drop it” I heard Noah’s voice hiss “If only you’d take my offer to go see someo-“ “Fuck you” He spits out and I heard his footsteps, I backed away making it look like I wasn’t here, eavesdropping. 

He stormed out but when he saw me, he stopped, I cleared my throat “Hi” I managed to say, is it the nightmares that Isa told me about? “What the fuck do you want?” He breathed out, clearly pissed. 

“Well, good morning to you too” I glared at him “I can’t stand you by day leave alone in the morning” He muttered walking away, I decided to follow him. 

“What is your problem?” I said, bravely, he looked at me, I stood there with my arms crossed waiting for an answer “What?” He asked bluntly “Why do you hate me so much?” I asked. 

“You’re annoying” He said “Then don’t talk to me, ignore me” I said, and then he muttered something so quiet I couldn’t even hear, he looked around, I guess making sure nobody sees us two talking. 

“Well, have fun” He sarcastically said and walked off, I sighed walking in the classroom. Mr. Smith was sitting on his chair by his desk with his fingers in his hair, I kind of feel sorry for him, but then again, what can I do? 

What are the nightmares about? Should I ask him? No I shouldn’t, I should shut up and not think about Noah again, not today and not ever. 

I sat down in my seat, remembering Noah’s seat right next to me, just to bug me, he won’t be back, I reminded myself, and then my mind took me back to our moment, or kiss. 

The way he pushed me against the wall making me forget my dislike towards him, making me forget who he is, and what he is like, just making me want more and more. 

The day flew by as I constantly thought of Noah, am I obsessing? Probably. 

After getting coffee, I walked back to my dorm, not wanting to run into his friends, I don’t even feel like seeing Lucas, I got in “Isa, are you here?” I asked shutting the door turning around “I brought coff-“ I cut myself off once I saw Noah sitting on my bed. 

“What are you doing here?” I almost snapped at him, I should stop doing that, it’s not me “I um…” He awkwardly said scratching the back of his neck “I would like some coffee?” He said. 

I sighed sitting down with him handing the coffee I had intended for Isa “Where is she anyways?” I asked “I asked her to fuck off” He shrugged, I gasped “Why would you do that?” I said getting up. 

“Sit” He demanded looking up at me, right in the eyes, I quickly sat down knowing it was serious, but then something changed, he was avoiding my eyes, once again, he took my coffee out of my hand and put it on the desk. 

“What do you want to talk about?” I asked him, almost worried “Who said I came to talk?” He breathed out closing the gap that was between us “I don’t want too” I quietly said “I know you do, Ava” He said coming closer. 

I started to feel his breath on my lips making them part involuntarily “But I don’t…” I breathed out and when his lips found his way on mine, he crashed them into mine, making me want more, just like the moment I was thinking about earlier this day. 

I shyly and gently put my hand on his chest, trailing it to his neck in the kiss, and then he pulled back getting up quickly breathing heavily “What?” I breathed out getting up too, what did I do wrong? 

“Do not, touch me” He growled “I’m sorry I-“ I said but I was cut off by him pushing me against the wall pinning my hands up above me, I guess making sure I won’t be touching again. 

“I don’t like being touched” He said before meeting my lips again, I immediately kissed him back, not wanting to miss a chance of feeling his soft wet and warm lips on mine, he bit down my lip making me moan slightly, I instantly felt my face getting warm. 

And then his breathing changed, it got deeper “Ava, I…” He breathed out breaking the touch of our lips only to trail that perfect lips of his to my neck, causing me to screw my eyes again, goosebumps filled my entire body feeling him only breath on my neck. 

“Do you want me to continue?” He asked me, I nodded breathing heavy “Do you want me to continue Ava, speak” He hissed, is he trying to embarrass me? Hello, this is Noah we are talking about. 

I pulled him away with my legs “What?” He asked confused “I won’t be your toy, I’m not going to let you embarrass me asking me these… questions” I flushed “I won’t be sleeping with you” I crossed my arms. 

And he snorted “You think I was trying to sleep with you? Trust me, if I really would of have wanted to, you were now laying in that bed screaming my name, begging me to keep digging into you, not here being the whiney annoying bitch, you always are” He stated. 

I couldn’t help but gasp at the way he just said that, ignoring the last part. 

“I…” I began but I really didn’t know what to say, I groaned sitting on my bed “Is it that late already?” I gaped at the clock, 11 p.m. 

“Guess the fun thing distracted you” He smirked “Can you leave?” I asked, he looked down at his hands “I was actually here to ask you if I may…” He said not knowing how to finish it. 

“Can I stay?” He asked, I looked confused at him “On the ground, I pissed off the guy I’m staying with and-“ “Okay” I nodded throwing my extra pillow to him and a blanket. 

“Okay?” He asked, I nodded “But no talking, I have to sleep” I said, he nodded, then I realized that I wasn’t even wearing pajamas “I have to change tho” I said taking my pajamas getting ready to go to the bathroom “Change here, I wont look” He said sarcastically “You aren’t that good looking anyway” He adds. 

“Well thank you” I said rolling my eyes “Well turn around” I demanded, he did and I started changing, not facing him so I make sure that if he peeks, he only sees my back, once I’m done, I tell him and he turns around. 

“Goodnight” I said quietly turning off the light “Yeah, whatever” He answered, making me smile, I don’t know why, but he’s just so, Noah. 

I turned around and slowly drifted off to sleep. 

“No! NO!” I heard someone scream, what in the world? “Please don’t!” He kept screaming, then I realized it, the nightmares Isa was telling me about, I quickly came back to reality and rushed over to him. 

I remember him telling me he doesn’t like being touched but who cares? He is obviously suffering. 

I wrapped my arms around him “Please” He whimpered trying to push me away “Noah it’s just a dream, it’s me” I softly said, he started moving “Stop!” He started screaming again “Noah!” I said shaking him still hugging him. 

“Ava?” He panicked “Shh” I said putting my head on his chest, his heart was going so so fast I thought he was going to have a heart attack or something. 

“I-“ “Shh” I said again hugging him tighter, and then he started to softly breath, letting me now he fell asleep, and I did not much after.


	25. Twenty - Five

“What the fuck?” Isa’s voice sounded in the room, I opened my eyes and I realized what she was looking at, we were laying on the ground cuddling. 

Then Noah jumped up “Fuck” He said in a sleepy voice rubbing his face “You were sleeping?” Isa asked him “I didn’t mean to fall asleep and I had a nightmare but-“ He said but then looked at me. 

“I have to go” He said taking his things rushing out, slamming the door, I groaned sitting on my bed “Sorry” I said rubbing my eyes “He slept?” She asked confused. 

“After the nightmare yeah” I said “That’s new” She said, I decided not to make a big deal out of someone sleeping, I got ready for classes and went out to the café to get a coffee, obviously. 

When I got there, I ordered a coffee and a muffin, and I sat down at a small table, as I was drinking my coffee and having some breakfast, Lucas and his friends came in, I tried to ignore them to have a good meal for once with them being there. 

“Hey Alba, have you seen Noah?” Lana asked when they passed “Ava, and why should I keep track of your fuckbuddy?” I asked bluntly, she rolled her eyes “Thanks, Alba” She smirked and walked off. I really can’t stand her. 

Lucas sat down with me “Hey, I wanted to apologize, I don’t want anything I was just comforting you, Noah was being a jackass so I thought maybe you needed someone to comfort you” He explained, I nodded “It’s okay Lucas, I just don’t like that kind of comfort” I awkwardly said. 

He smiled “Okay” He said nodding “Noted” He added “So, what are you up too?” He asked “Not really much, doing the same as always” I shrugged “Study?” He smirked, I nodded “Yup” I laughed. 

“Do you feel like partying Saturday?” He asked “No way” I laughed “Why not?” He asked “I don’t like parties, they always end up with fights” I rolled my eyes “Come on, you only live once” He said, I rolled my eyes “That’s way too old to still use that” I laughed “But it’s true!” He said. 

Suddenly, Noah came and sat with us “Lana was searching for you” I said “Good luck for her” He coldly said, I bit my lip wanting to ask him about his nightmares, but knowing it isn’t a good idea and surely not with Lucas here. 

“Can we talk later?” I asked, knowing the answer “There’s nothing to talk about” He snapped, back at this again “Fine” I said “Can you leave then?” I asked again, just like yesterday. 

He chuckled “Whatever you want” He said and walked off “What would you want to talk about with Noah?” Lucas asked “Nothing” I said, I put my empty cup in the tray and threw the left over from my muffin in the trash. 

When I got to class of Mr. Smith, Noah was already there sitting in his seat, I sat next to him in mine, and since nobody was here, I guess this was my opportunity “What did you dream about last night?” I whispered, he pretended to not hear me “Noah” I said a bit louder. 

“Noah” I practically almost yelled, he groaned loudly and looked up “What?” He coldly said “What was that nightmare about?” I said “That’s none of your fucking business” He said, I rolled my eyes. 

“You can tell me, you know, I’m not telling anyone” I told him “I don’t need to tell you, because that’s just once in maybe ten years I have had a nightmare and just as I told you, it’s really none of your business” He stated. 

I took a deep breathe to control myself and not lash out “I just want you to know-“ I started “Shut up” He said, I glared at him “Don’t tell me to shut up” I snapped “Do you want me to shut you up?” He said with a smirk on his face, I rolled my eyes. 

“That’s all you really can, make comebacks like this” I sighed avoiding his face “You like it” He whispered sending shivers down my spine “Stop, we’re in class” I whispered “We can always leave” He breathed out in my ear. 

“Noah, would you like to enlighten us with the answer?” Mr. Smith called out, he groaned “Nope” He shrugged, Mr. Smith looked over at me and I immediately felt my cheeks warm up, please don’t call on me. 

And he didn’t, he started about something else, the class went fast by, when the bell rung everyone left and as I was packing my bag, I walked to the door. 

“Ms. Bennett?” He asked “Yes?” “This is a personal subject, are you okay with that?” He asked shutting the door “Oh sure, I’m sorry for not coming last week I had a fe-“ “I know, don’t worry it’s not about that, please take a seat” He said sitting down too. 

As I sat down, I got more and more nervous “It’s about Noah” He said “I just wanted to warn you, he’s not the boy you might think he is, I saw you and-“ “I know, I don’t have anything with him Mr. Smith” I explained “Please, Call me Rick” He smiled, I nodded. 

“It’s not about that, I don’t want to see anyone get hurt because of him, I know how he is and how he uses girls just for his pleasure so I felt like I had to warn you” He smiled “Oh… I’m not that kind of girl-“ “Ms. Bennett, I’m not saying you are, no worries I just don’t want you see caught up with Noah’s trouble, he’s not okay” He said. 

Making me frown, how could he say that? 

“But can’t we help him?” I said, he shook his head “He lived way too much painful things that he can’t be saved” He said, I saw the pain in his eyes “Can I ask you why he’s staying with you?” I asked awkwardly “Isa told me…” I added. 

“It’s not like I don’t trust you, but it’s better for you to not know” He nodded, I smiled trying to hide my disappointment “Okay” I smiled “That was it, enjoy your day” He said getting up, I got up quickly walking out. 

What the heck.


	26. Twenty - Six

“So, your dad just told me a few hours ago to stay away from Noah” I awkwardly said to Isa “He did what?” She laughed, I joined her “Yeah, he said because he had a difficult life and that he’s not who I need him to be or something like that” I said getting up from my bed. 

“Well, he’ll never be what you need him to be, you do know that right?” She asked me, I groaned “I don’t want him to be anything, Isa” I rolled my eyes “Okay okay” She laughed. 

My phone rang, it was Noah “Why is Noah calling me at this hour?” I groaned, it’s already 8 p.m. 

“Pick it up, he doesn’t usually call” Isa said getting up to me, I picked it up “Noah?” I breathed out “Ms. Bennett, would it be very inappropriate for me to ask you to come over?” Mr. Smith asked, I looked at Isa and mouthed ‘Your dad’

I put it on speaker “Dad?” Isa asked “Hey baby, Noah is just being his self again and he was yelling all about Ms. Bennett so I thought maybe… never mind it’s totally inappropriate for me to ask-“ “Please call me Ava, if Isa can take me I’ll see what I can do to help” I suggested. 

“Let’s go” She said, the way seemed endless, it was like she was going so so slow, what was I going to find? I don’t really know Noah, why would Mr. Smith think I can calm him? 

We finally got there and I got out, I already heard yelling and glass shattering, this is bad. 

“Be careful” Isa said quietly opening the door for me “Thanks” I mumbled walking in following the awful fight. 

“Noah…” I quietly said, he immediately looked at me and dropped the vase out of his hand breaking it too “I…” I sighed looking at Mr. Smith “I’m sorry I had to call y-“ “Shut the fuck up” He snapped walking away, I followed him. 

“Hey…” I began, I took him by the arm but he quickly pulled away “Don’t fucking touch me you bitch!” He yelled to my face, I bit my lip trying not to react, not even a bit “Noah you won’t scare me off” I softly said. 

“Don’t touch me” He said again walking into a room, I guess his “Can I?” I said walking in “No, but now that you are already in, thanks for asking” He rolled his eyes “What is even your problem? Why did you break all of Mr. Smiths’ things?” I asked him. 

“He’s an asshole, really? Why are you even here?” He said walking from one way to another “He called me, he worries” I said, he still continued walking “It makes no sense” He breathed out “What doesn’t make sense?” I tried again touch his hand. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He basically screamed at my face pinning me to the wall, without hurting me of course, pinning my hands above my head, our faces just inches away from each other. 

“Why won’t you let me touch you?” I whispered looking in his eyes, hoping he would be looking too, or would let me try to read him “I don’t like being touched” He mumbled looking back, he looked hurt. 

He kind of looked damaged in some way “This is not the ans-“ I was trying to say but then he cut me off with his lips on mine, I instantly opened my mouth welcoming his warm wet tongue. 

I never know how hungry I am for his kiss, I wrapped my legs around his waist so he would let go of my hands to take my legs, I clenched them around his waist.

He groaned quietly walking to the bed not even breaking the kiss half a second, once we hit the bed, his lips left mine, to my neck, gently nibbling at its sensitive warm skin now. 

“Ava…” He breathed out against my neck, before I realized it I was with my hands on his back “Sorry” I groaned taking my hands back up my head and he continued leaving tingles all over my body. 

Then he stopped “This is not a good idea” He mumbled looking in my eyes “Why?” “Not again, please don’t ruin it by talking” He groaned, I rolled my eyes “Are you calmed down already? So I can go?” I said getting up. 

“No!” He quickly said, he cleared his throat “I mean… stay?” He asked awkwardly “But it’s a school day” I mumbled “Please, I will drive you to your dorm tomorrow early so you can get ready” He said. 

“Fine, will Mr. Smith be okay with it?” I asked him, he rolled his eyes “Don’t be so responsible” He chuckled. 

I sat down on the ground “What are you doing?” He asked “Sleeping?” I said referring to the ground “Are you serious? I have a double king size bed, and you are sleeping on the ground? There won’t be contact, remember? You are not my type” He cleared out. 

“Thanks” I rolled my eyes sarcastically getting awkwardly in his bed “Do you want to put on a shirt of mine?” He asked biting his lip “I’m fine…” I smiled; I already had my comfy clothes on so they won’t be so bad to sleep in.

“Goodnight” I said as he turned out the light “Whatever” He mumbled making me smile again “Is it so difficult to just say goodnight?” I chuckled “It is, now go to sleep before your planner doesn’t make sense” He said coldly. 

I rolled my eyes turning on my side taking sheets, and thinking about our kiss earlier, about how bad I wanted more of him and it is so bad that I do, because I shouldn’t.

I drifted off to sleep.


	27. Twenty - Seven

When I woke up, there were strong arms around me, I quickly looked to the side the arms were coming from, Noah was peacefully sleeping. 

He looks so much younger without his typical glare on his face, then he started stirring, did he feel me staring? He quickly took away his arms jumping up “Hey calm down” I said softly, he looked over at me panicking “Fuck” He breathed out. 

“Sorry I fell asleep I-“ He started explaining “Noah, you shouldn’t be sorry for falling asleep, it is fine, I won’t tell anyone I promise, no worries” I said getting up slowly, he cleared his throat.

I looked up at him, he was awkwardly scratching the back of his neck, is he nervous? “I’m going to the bathroom” He said and disappeared, awesome. 

I got up and walked back to the living room that Noah yesterday broke entirely, only to see Mr. Smith cleaning “Let me help” I said quickly “Oh no, please” He smiled “Would you like breakfast?” He smiled, I nodded. 

“Good morning” Noah said “Good morning” Mr. Smith said “How did you sleep?” Mr. Smith asked “I slept” Noah said quietly “Yeah, I didn’t hear you screaming” He said taking a sip from his cup.

“Whatever” He mumbled “Let’s go, you have to change still” He said, I nodded “Thanks for breakfast” I smiled and walked off with Noah “What are the nightmares about? Please, I will not tell anyone” I sighed. 

“Please, I’m not ready” He softly said, I nodded “Thanks, for not being mean or pissed now” I chuckled getting in his car with him “I guess I just slept well” He chuckled, the rest of the drive was quiet, almost too quiet, when we got to my dorm, he waited outside for me to change. 

I put on a shirt and just some jeans, brushed my hair and walked outside “We’ll see each other later?” He asked, I nodded “Yeah, bye” I said with a small smile, not really wanting him to go. 

He doesn’t do girlfriends, he doesn’t care, what more do you need for you to stop? My subconscious taunted me, I decided to ignore her and kept walking, hoping I’d run into someone I know so I could at least talk. 

“Avaa!” Alex’s voice sounded, I turned around “Hey! Long time no see” He chuckled “Yeah” I smiled at him “How are you?” He said walking along with me “Fine, how about you?” “Same old, same old” He laughed, I almost forgot what it was like to deal with a happy person. That’s not right for me to say that, isn’t it? 

“Hey” Lucas said walking next to me now too “Hey Lucas” “Hey! Did you manage to talk to Noah about that thing you needed from him?” He asked “What did you need from Noah?” Alex panicked “Nothing, for God’s Sake” I rolled my eyes. 

“It’s none of your business” Isa butted into the conversation, this isn’t what I asked for, I asked for company, not noisy people.

“You don’t like me, do you?” Lucas asked Isa “I don’t like any of your group” Isa smiled kindly “Me neither” Alex added “Nobody asked you” Lucas rolled his eyes at Alex “Hey, stop it” I tried. 

“I don’t need anybody to ask me, I don’t have to go kiss other people’s asses to get some attention” Alex said “Dude, I don’t need attention” Lucas laughed out “Sure you don’t, that’s why you’re up Noah’s ass that much” Alex said. 

“Noah not my ‘leader’” “Noah is a fucking son of a bitc-“ “I said stop!” I yelled stopping turning to them “If you can’t at least act that you are mature enough to talk, then just shut up, okay?” I said angrily and stormed off. 

Why do they always have to end up fighting? Why do I feel the need to defend Noah? Well maybe because he wasn’t there? It’s unfair to attack someone who is not there to defend himself so… I guess that’s why?

I sat down in class and let out a deep breath I didn’t realize I was even holding in “You okay?” Noah whispered in my ear, I looked at him feeling my cheeks heat up “Yeah, just Lucas and Alex bickering…” I mumbled shrugging. 

He groaned and said something under his breath “What?” I asked him “Huh?” He smirked, I groaned “I like you better when you are all snappy and stuff” I teased him “Oh you do? Do you like bad, mean boys?” He growled in my ear.

“Noah” I yelped pulling away so he wouldn’t be so near to my ear “Gotcha” He smirked and sat up straight, waiting for the class to begin. 

I like this Noah, this playful, nice Noah that I never thought I’d see, not even close, but hey I guess if everyone who knows him says he always has nightmares, maybe sleeping for one night helps? 

I really hope so for him.


	28. Twenty - Eight

"See you later" I said to Noah once the class was finished walking out hoping he'd come after me to talk, but of course he didn't.

I figured I would walk around campus, because I never got even a chance, so I just did that.

"Hey" Lucas said behind me, I rolled my eyes and didn't stop walking "Ava" he said grabbing my wrist.

Oh no he didn't. 

I quickly pulled back "What do you want Lucas?" I snapped "I just wanted to apologize, sorry" He said quietly.

"Well you basically forced me to listen to your sorry so it doesn't really count, does it?" "Please" He groaned.

"Fine, but stop arguing with Alex" I said "Okay" He smiled "Let's walk to class?" He said. I shrugged walking with him.

"Lucas" Noah called behind us, he turned around "Hey bro" Lucas said patting his shoulder "Yeah, you coming to the party tomorrow?" Noah asked him, avoiding eye contact with me.

"Duh" Lucas laughed "Good, that's it" Noah said not even smiling back "You coming to the party nun?" He smirked at his nick name.

I rolled my eyes "Why would you think I would go?" I remarked "So I could fuck you in the jacuzzi" Noah whispered in my ear, making the tingling come back just as always.

I felt him smirk against my ear "I know you would be so ready for me" He whispered nibbling my ear.

"Noah..." I managed to crack out, he pulled back "You can always come" He winked and walked off leaving me behind, again with a cold rush running all over him once his warm body leaning against mine was gone.

"Are you seriously fucking Noah?" Lucas grunted, I groaned "No, I'm not, why does everyone care so much? Even if I was, is that actually your business?" I snapped out.

"He's using you" He warned me, I glared at him "Don't come crying to me the day he leaves you all alone" he added.

"Enough" I warned him "What? You don't want to know the truth? How many girls do you think Noah has fucked? Three? You are so wrong about him, he doesn't want to be in this stupid relationship with you, he fucks and leaves" He continued.

"Stop it" I said walking away "You're going to let Noah fuck you, aren't you?" He followed me.

I turned around and without thinking, I slapped him in the face, just right in his face with an open palm.

I gasped realizing what I did but instead of saying something, even apologizing, I just ran off.

I don't even feel like going to class, but I guess I have to, I walked into the classroom completely out of breath and shocked.

Why did I even slap him? Why do I have the constant urge to defend Noah no matter what? 

"You okay?" Isa asked me "No" I mumbled taking my books "What did Noah do now?" "Noah didn't do anything, for God's sake" I raised my voice making everyone look at me, I quietly apologized under my breath.

"Sorry" Isa said, I sighed "Just Lucas playing games with my head all about Noah just wants to sleep with me and stuff" I awkwardly said.

"And why did you get angry with him? You know he is saying the truth right?" She asked worried.

"Really?" I glared at her getting back up "You are so wrong if you think I'll just have sex with anyone I lay my eyes on" I snapped taking my books and walking out of class.

I heard Isa call after me but I ignored her, why does this have to be so difficult? 

Why does everyone think they need to protect me? I can handle myself.

When I got in my dorm, I locked the door and threw myself on my bed, feeling tired and sick of everyone just butting their heads into my business.

And then I realized I just skipped class, just perfect.

Now I am even skipping school because of my so called friends.

Then someone knocked on the door, I groaned hoping it wasn't anyone of my friends, when I opened the door, Noah immediately crushed his lips against mine, making me feel vulnerable once again pushing me against the wall.

I opened my mouth so he could slip his tongue into my mouth, and so he did, I basically cried out when he stopped kissing me but he started going down my neck.

The tingling and the warmth I was feeling down there came back, without noticing, I was pulling his hair.

But for once, he didn't say anything, and I even swear I heard him moan.

"I want you so bad" He breathed nibbling my ear "Noah" I whispered out of breath.

"I know you want me too Ava just admit it" he said pinning my arms up against my head again.

"I'm virgin" I whispered awkwardly "You are what?" He pulled back still breathing heavy.

"I'm virgin" I admitted again biting my lip "Fuck" he said with his hands in his hair.

"Sorry..." I mumbled sitting down, he sat down with me too "You don't have to be sorry" He chuckled.

"I don't know" I bit my lip and leaned against him touching my lips with his.

I kissed him again sitting down on his lap trying not to touch him, in our constantly heating up kiss, he took my hands and put them on the back of his head.

"Are you sure?" I said into the kiss, he squeezed my hands indicating it was okay, so I started pulling it breaking the kiss kissing his neck, just like he does with me.

"Ava that's not..." he tried to stop me but his moan told me otherwise I just kept nibbling at his neck pulling his hair a little bit harder.

"Fuck" He groaned pinning me against the bed "Do you want me to touch you?" Noah asked.

I bit my lip looking at him, wanting to feel his touch, anywhere.

"Please answer, I need to know if you're okay with this" he mumbled, I nodded.

He smirked leaning in to kiss my neck, feeling his hands go towards the band of my pants pulling them down slowly.

"I promise I'll make you feel so good you're going to be screaming my name any second" He breathed and then I felt his touch down there.

And he wasn't wrong.


	29. Twenty - Nine

“Noah?” I mumbled opening my eyes, is it night? 

“Hey” He answered “How late is it?” I whispered “3 a.m, go back to sleep” He whispered, I turned on my little nightlamp, he was sitting at the edge of the bed “What are you doing?” I sat up next to him. 

“I don’t want to fall asleep” He said quietly “Because of the… nightmares?” I asked him softly, he nodded “Do you want to tell me?” I tried once again, he shifted awkwardly looking at me. 

“Don’t tell anyone” He whispered, I nodded. Is he really going to spill? 

“One night, I was sound asleep in my childhood house, and suddenly a scream woke me up, so I walked downstairs, I think I was four years or something” He began, oh god. 

“It was my biological father, he um…” He looked at me, I sat closer to him “He saw me and he started beating me up, just like he always did, but this time it was different” He whispered looking down “Noah you don’t have to-“ “No, I want too” He nodded. 

“He took his cigarette and started burning my chest, and my back and everything he could get his hands on” He mumbled “And when I thought the worst was over, his friends came” He whispered “And they um… Sexually abused me, there were 5 of them” He looked at me. 

“And that keeps repeating when you fall asleep?” I asked him, he nodded “Yeah, so I try not to sleep” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes, I frowned “Come here…Please” I whispered sitting back. 

“I will only touch your hair” I mumbled indicating him to lay on my lap, and so he did, I started playing with his hair “And is that why you wouldn’t let me touch you?” I asked him, he didn’t answer. 

“Is that why you sleep with all those girls?” I mumbled, and then I heard his breath change, indicating he was sound asleep, why would his father do such thing? Where was his mother then? 

I sighed looking at the boy laying peacefully asleep on my lap, he isn’t a dickhead, he’s just broken, and that’s why he won’t let anyone in.   
I finally get it. 

I kept staring at him and then I laid down with him after turning off my light, still touching nothing but his hair. 

And so, I drifted back off to sleep.

“Shut that damn alarm” Noah groaned, I opened my eyes “I can’t” I groaned too indicating his arms were wrapped around my body, he let me go so I could turn it off. 

“You’re going to class?” He mumbled in the pillow “You’re not?” I chuckled taking my clean clothes so I could go shower “Let’s not” He sat up yawning “How did you sleep?” I asked him looking back “Fine” He said getting up. 

“You’re going to shower in the community showers?” He said with disgust in his voice “What do you want me to do otherwise?” I laughed “Come with me and shower at my place?” He chuckled “I will be late” I shook my head. 

“Ava, it’s Rick’s class you will be missing, I will beat him up if he ever failed you” He rolled his eyes “I’m not missing class, period” I laughed walking out to the bathrooms. 

I quickly showered and after the shower, I pulled on my plain jeans with my white t-shirt, I brushed my hair and walked back to my room to put it away, Noah was still there to my surprise. 

“You’re back, finally” He groaned “Isa was being annoying” He said pointing at her “Hey, I’m not” She laughed out.

“When did you arrive?” I asked simply “Just 10 minutes ago” She smiled at me “Oh” I said not smiling back taking my bag and walking out “Bye” I said trying to shut the door, but Noah was behind me. 

“What’s up with you, I’m supposed to be the jackass, remember?” He stated “She’s just too annoying and butting her head into my business” I mumbled “Nun gets aggressive” He smirked. 

“Noah” I warned him “You aren’t coming in my car?” He asked “I’m sure if I go with you, you’ll end up kidnapping me somewhere so I miss class, so no thank you” I smiled sarcastically. 

“Fine, I’ll walk with you then” “You’re what?” I raised my eyebrow “Walking with you” He chuckled.

When we arrived, all eyes were on us, guess nobody’s used to Noah walking, but honestly neither am I, but I could get used to it. 

When we got to class, we sat down on our seats, Noah was being suspiciously quiet, I looked over at him. 

“Is something wrong?” I asked him, he shook his head “You’re quiet” I said “Don’t think we’re suddenly friends now, don’t make this hard on yourself” He bluntly said “Seriously?” I gaped. 

When he didn’t answer, I stopped the conversation there because I didn’t want to fight in class. 

When the bell rung, I started to put everything in my bag, I got up and walked off, Noah was already gone, I sighed, I should of have known that it wouldn’t last long. 

“Sorry, again” Lucas said behind me “Oh hey, are you coming to point out that I shouldn’t sleep with Noah again?” I rolled my eyes turning to him, he had a black eye. 

“What happened?” I gasped touching his eye, he winced “Noah” He chuckled “Your own friend beat you up?” I said “I deserved it” He nodded “What did you do?” I asked him. 

“He came asking me why you were so upset when he saw us talking and I told him what I said and yeah... My fault” He laughed “Where is he?” I said starting to get angry. 

“What?” He asked “Where is Noah?” “I don’t know” He shrugged “But it’s okay, I really did deserve it” He smiled at me “No, you didn’t, I’m so sorry” I sighed hugging him, he hugged back. 

“So, I see your back at friends?” Noah’s voice sounded, I immediately pulled back from the hug “What the heck Noah?” I raised my voice pointing at Lucas his black eye. 

“He fell” He said “No, he didn’t, he told me you beat him up” I crossed my arms “Oh did he now?” He glared at Lucas. 

I turned back at Lucas indicating for him to go and he did “You can’t just go around beating up people because they upset me” I tried to explain “He shouldn’t of have been a dick” He shrugged “You said worse things to me” I crossed my arms again.

“No, that’s just you being a cry baby” He rolled his eyes “Don’t you dare to touch Lucas again” I glared at him pointing my finger to him and then I turned around and stormed off. 

Who does he think he is?


	30. Thirty

“Then she went just like ‘don’t you dare to touch Lucas again” I heard Noah talk in my dorm when I arrived “You shouldn’t beat up her friend” I heard Isa try to explain to Noah. 

“He isn’t even her friend, he’s using her” “And you’re not?” Isa interrupted him “That’s not the point here, you’re not getting it” Noah groaned, should I stop the conversation here and just go in? 

“Lucas is a good friend to her, just like Alex and me, we’re warning her for you” Isa said “She can handle me” Noah said “I’m not sure” Isa continued. 

And that’s when I walked in, they looked at me “Hey” I smiled a bit at Isa “Sorry for being such a bitch this morning” I apologized to Isa “No worries” She smiled. 

“Are you still mad?” Noah smirked, I glared at him “You shouldn’t even be talking to me now” I rolled my eyes “Boo” He mocked me “I don’t like you beating up people for me” “Come to the party” Noah said. 

“Stop beating people up” I crossed my arms “Come” He demanded, I rolled my eyes “Fine” I gave in, I know I always do this, but I guess that sometimes the parties have to be good right? I mean, why do all these people even party if it’s like that? 

“really?” Isa chuckled, I nodded “You’re going, right?” I laughed, she nodded “I am” “Good” 

“Hey, I’ve gotta go, see you at the party!” Isa said walking out, as soon as she closed the door Noah smirked at me.

“What?” I asked him “What?” He said coming closer, I think I know what’s happening already “Oh no you’re not” I breathed out walking back, he smirked backing me up against the wall. 

“I’m not what, Ava?” He whispered, with his soft wet lips against mine, I groaned not being able to tell him no “I know you want me” He mumbled looking into my eyes for the first time in forever. 

“Let me make you feel good” He said trailing down my neck “Just like the other day?” I cracked out feeling the tingling down in between my legs “Better” He bit my neck, causing a moan to escape my mouth. 

He pulled his arm around my waist laying me down on my bed next to where we were standing. 

“What are you-“ “Shh” He shushed me lifting my shirt kissing down my belly slowly unbuttoning my jeans, I squeezed my legs close so I could fight the feeling that I was feeling down there where basically his face was. 

“Let me taste you” He growled taking my pants down and then my panties slowly, making me regret my plain grandma panty choice “You look so sexy right now you can’t even imagine”

I groaned wishing he would eager the feeling already “Don’t tease me” I whispered blushing, he smirked “don’t tell me what to do” He said as he breathed down on my lady parts, and then his tongue started to move from one side to another, rushing me with the pleasure. 

I immediately started moaning wanting more, and he got it, he started doing such wonderful things, changing the rhythm and the way he was going. 

When I felt I was about to explode, the familiar feeling of his finger sliding into me overwhelmed me and got me over the edge, moaning out his name. 

“Look at me” He breathed against me, I looked him in the eyes while I came back to reality. 

He licked his lips backing away from me “Let’s get ready to party” He winked getting up, leaving me there half naked still trying to catch my breath, I pulled my panties and jeans back up.

“You liked it?” He said going through his hair, I nodded shyly “Don’t be shy now” He mumbled against my lips by now, I tried to kiss him but he pulled back “Let’s go” “What? Like this?” I gasped, he nodded. 

“We’ll be late” He said getting up, I groaned getting up taking another pair of panties and pants so I could go to the bathroom to change. 

I guess the top can be the same, I quickly changed once I got in the bathroom and pulled my hair up in a ponytail. 

“Done!” I said when I got back to the room “Okay, let’s go eat dinner” He said “Oh, okay” I nodded realizing how hungry I was, he took his car keys and walked out, making me follow him. 

“Where are we going?” I asked him “To the burger place to eat spaghetti” He mocked, I laughed “Not funny, it’s really good” I laughed out “Sure it is” He rolled his eyes getting in the car. 

The ride was quiet, just as always, as soon as we got there, they took our order, Noah ordered a burger with cheddar cheese and extra bacon while I ordered my spaghetti.

“So, you want to be a lawyer?” Noah asked me “We’re really doing this?” I chuckled looking around “Okay” He nodded “I was kidding, yes” I chuckled “Cool” He smiled a bit, why am I so stupid? 

“Sorry, I wasn’t serious” I said, he shook his head “No worries” He said. 

“Aaayyye” Ethan’s voice sounded behind us. 

Ugh.


	31. Thirty - One

"Noah let's go" I quietly said "I'm not going to run from him" Noah chuckled looking at him.

"Bro, long time no see" Ethan said shaking Noah's hand, Noah smiled falsely "What a shame, right?" He sarcastically remarked.

"You're on a date?" Ethan smirked "No, we're just trying to eat something before the party, thank you very much" I spoke for Noah. 

"Still a big mouth I see" Ethan glared at me "Do not touch her" Noah marked "Relax it's not like she's so hot I cant keep my hands off of her" He laughed.

Noah rolled his eyes and didn't respond, then our dinner finally came.

As we started eating Ethan was just standing there staring like a creep. 

"Dude, fuck off" Noah snapped at Ethan, making him laugh but he listened, guess he knows better than to ignore his commands.

We ate our dinner quietly after that, not talking to each other, letting me know that I've did something Noah didn't like.

"What's wrong?" I dared to ask, he shook his head "If you don't tell me then I wont know for the next time" I sighed. 

"One, there wont be a next time, and two, you shouldn't talk to Ethan, he is like hundred times worse than Lucas, but he just goes against your will" Noah said.

"I just said we weren't on a date" I said "And I'm saying to shut your mouth to Ethan, okay?" He said starting to get pissed off, before causing a scene, I mumbled a quiet okay to him.

After dinner, Noah drove us to the party, once we got there, music was blasting through the street, I sighed walking in the house with Noah.

And I felt like all eyes were on us, does he take girls often to parties to sleep with?

And then he was gone, great, I should of have known.

"Avaaa" Justin cheered "Hey" I said sitting down on a chair next to the counter "You came alone?" He asked, what should I say?

"No, I came with Isa" I lied, hoping he wouldn't notice my awful lying skills, "Where is she?" He looked around "No idea, this happens all the time" I laughed.

"You don't like parties very much huh?" He said sitting down with me "Not really" I scrunched my nose making him laugh.

"Aaaye" Ethan yelled to Justin, this is not going to go well "Where's my boy Noah?" Ethan asked me, I shrugged not looking up to him.

"I'm talking to you" He said getting closer, I looked up at him "didn't you see I said I don't know?" I answered him.

He took my face in his hand, just like last time, I pushed him off "What even is your problem?" I yelled at him over the music.

"You know, you really do turn me on, I cant wait to fuck you till you're not breathing anymore" He smirked. 

Justin stood before me now "Back off dude, don't fuck with Noah's girl" Justin warned him.

Noah's girl? Why would he think that I'm Noah's girl?

"That's the whole point, back off" Ethan said trying to push Justin off, "Go" Justin said, I nodded and walked off trying to find Noah, where is him when you need him?

Then I found Lucas, thank God.

"Help" I yelped running in his arms "What the hell?" He looked at me and when he realized it was me he relaxed "What happened?" He asked me, I pulled back blushing "sorry" I said, he shook his head indicating it was alright.

"Ethan was being weird and creepy" I said "I don't really want to be here now" I said, he nodded taking my hand walking out.

We got to the kitchen and suddenly I felt something cold against me, someone ran into me and spilled their drink on me.

"What the fuck!?" I yelled at the guy, he was even to drunk to notice, I stormed outside "I hate parties!" I yelled when we got out trying to get the cold liquor off of my body.

"Calm down" Lucas laughed "No, first Ethan starts all about raping me and then some stupid ass guy spills his drink on me" I groaned.

"Ethan did what?" He gaped "Yeah, something about me being Noah's girl" I rolled my eyes at the irony of me having something with Noah when he obviously just abandoned me.

"Hold on" He said walking inside, now I'm all alone outside, I sat down on the floor against the wall, I always say this, but this time will be the last time I go to a party.

I sighed and then the music stopped and I heard cheering, what?

I walked in only to see Noah beating Ethan up, once again.

I looked around looking for Lucas, and he was standing there too, cheering, I stormed over to him "What the heck Lucas? Break them up!" I yelled.

"He deserves it" He shrugged "He is going to kill him!" I yelled, when I saw nobody do anything, I did the worst thing I could of have done.

I stood there in the middle "Noah!" I yelled at him touching his shoulder from behind, he quickly got up turning around ready to punch me.

I flinched waiting for the punch, but it didn't come, I opened my eyes only to see him breathing heavy staring at me "Dont touch me" He said under his breath, people started booing and walked off making the music start again.

"What is it with you guys beating each other up?" I asked them, Justin was looking at Ethan and Lucas at us.

"What happened!?" Isa came running over, she looked at Noah trying to catch his breath, sweating and with Ethans blood on his face and hands.

"Dude" Isa shook her head, I looked at Noah and walked back out, I know he did it for me this time. 

But if he had just came out to see if I was okay instead of doing what he always does and beat anyone up that gets in his way.

Lucas ran after me "Sorry, Ethan did deserve it" Lucas explained "Can you take me to my dorm?" I sighed, he nodded taking his keys from his pocket.

"Okay" he said walking with me to his car.


	32. Thirty - Two

"I'm sorry for telling Noah" Lucas said one last time before I stepped out the car "It's alright" I assured him closing the door and walking inside the building.

I got to my dorm and got in, once I shut the door and pulled my wet tshirt out and pants, putting on my pajamas.

Then there was banging on the door, who could that be at this hour? It's 3 a.m

Then Noah stormed in "What are you doing here?" I asked him confused, Ethans dried blood was still on his face and his knuckles were still bloody to.

"You fucking talk to Ethan, that I tell you not to do!" He yelled "Noah he began talking to me and he was-" "Shut the fuck up! I told you not to talk to him!" He yelled again this time storming around the room.

"Okay, sorry" I said trying to calm him down "But that's not all, then you fucking leave with Lucas" He yelled to me and started punching the wall.

"Noah stop it! What did you want me to do?" I yelled back running to him for him to stop punching the walls "Stay with me" He answered me "Hey you were the one that left" I defended myself.

"I went to get a fucking drink and I come back and you're not there!" He yelled, he came back? "I thought you left me" I sighed sitting down on the bed.

Noah looked at the wall that he left covered with fresh blood of him and then looked at me "I'll clean that up" He mumbled "Leave it" I said taking his hand slowly looking at his knuckles.

"You should stop beating everyone up, and then stop punching the walls" I looked up at him, back to avoiding my eyes, awesome.

"You should stop messing around with Ethan" He snapped "Talk to Justin, he was there" I sighed "I dont care Ava, is it that hard? Just dont talk to him" He looked in my eyes.

"I tried, but he got pissed off all about how I didn't answer him" I sighed "I'm sorry, okay? I promise I wont talk to him again" I smiled a bit.

"Okay, but I should just kill him, to make sure" He rolled his eyes "No, stop beating people up because of me" I sternly warned him "I'm helping you" "That is not helping" I chuckled.

"It is helping in my fucking way" He snapped pulling his hands out of mine "Noah I was kidding" I assured him "Stop messing around" Noah got up ready to go.

"You're not staying?" I asked him quietly, he looked at me "I shouldn't" He said coldly and walked out, I messed up again, I wish there was a book so I could know how to treat him in different situations.

I cleaned up his blood that he left on the wall and then got in my bed and I fell asleep.

"No! Stop!" I heard someone yell "Please stop" he whimpered, I opened my eyes only to see Noah laying on the ground next to my bed.

I quickly got out "I'm sorry, stop please" He let out a soft cry, I quickly hugged him shushing him.

"It hurts" He whimpered under my touch "Noah it's me" I whispered in his ear "you're okay" I whispered again.

He slowly opened his eyes "Ava?" He whispered, I got up and took his hand so he would lay with me in my bed, when he laid down I slowly laid down next to him with my arm over his chest and my leg over his legs.

"You're okay with this?" I whispered, he nodded slowly, I snuggled my face in his chest sighing.

Poor him, imagine being so little and have some guys... I looked up at his face making sure he fell asleep again, and he did, he was sound asleep by now.

Is he having this nightmares since the night it happened? I really hope not, I don't want to think about the times he had to live this in his nightmares.

Before I knew it, I drifted off to sleep too.

My phone rung, what is it with my dad always having to wake me up Saturdays? I groaned picking up my phone.

"Hi" I mumbled, "Hey baby, did I wake you?" He asked through the phone "You did" I mumbled rubbing my eyes "who is it?" Noah groaned in the background, crap!

"Avalynn is there a boy in your room?" He asked me "No! It's my roommate's boyfriend" I quickly said, I don't think he believed me but he didn't insist, so we talked about my week and his, about how my neighbours fought again and how an old friend of mine is pregnant.

When I hung up I looked back at Noah "it was my dad" I chuckled "Sorry" He said with a raspy morning voice.

"Its okay, how did you sleep?" I said sitting down with him "Fine" He weakly answered.

"Let's have some breakfast?" I grinned .


	33. Thirty - Three

IMPORTANT!  
THIS STORY WILL HAVE SEX SCENES AND STUFF LIKE THAT, IF YOU DONT LIKE IT SKIP THE SCENE.

~ ~ ~

"You came back" I said as we sat in a cute little restaurant Noah drove us to, about 20 minutes from campus, he glanced up from his pancakes "I don't know why" He mumbled awkwardly.

"It's okay, why didn't you wake me up? Then you could of have slept the whole night" I explained "You were mad, I fucked up once again, I didn't deserve to stay and have sleep" He shifted clearing his throat drinking of his coffee.

"I was pissed off, but you do deserve some sleep Noah, I'm just asking you not to beat people up the second they piss you off" I sighed "It's my way of being me, okay?" He snapped "Hey, we're just talking" I tried to calm him down. Please not now we're too far from campus to walk.

"No, you are fucking pissing me off, it's fucking impossible to talk with you" He got up accidentally kicking the table causing everyone in the little restaurant to look at us, I quickly looked around and they all turned away from us.

"Are you seriously ditching me right now?" I raised my voice "I'm going to the bathroom, and when I come back you better just shut the fuck up before I'm out of here" He hissed and stormed to the bathroom.

Great, I groaned loudly sitting back, when I glanced around there were some people looking over at me "Sorry" I apologized for our, well, Noah's behavior.

I kept eating my pancakes even if I wasn't hungry anymore, then Noah came back and sat in his seat, not saying a word and began eating again.

Should I try to talk to him again? Just change the subject? He told you to shut up, my subconscious butted in, I sighed clearing my throat causing him to look at me.

"Don't" He warned "I was just going to ask you if you did your homework" I quickly said "Why would I?" "Why are you at campus?" I asked him quietly "Because Rick thinks I'm worth for studying and wants me to have a good future and shit like that" He rolled his eyes "He's really good for you, why are you always mad at him?" I asked him, he groaned dropping his fork on his plate "Really Ava?" He snapped "Sorry" I sighed.

"Whatever" He rolled his eyes, I drunk my coffee and awkwardly put the cup back down glancing back up at him "You done?" "Yeah" I answered him, he got up and I copied his actions putting my chair back under the table.

We paid, well, he paid because he gave me a glare and then we left the place "I'm sorry I just want to know you" I tried once we were in his car.

"You don't have to get to know me, I don't want you to know me" He muttered the last things "But I do, I know you hate personal questions and being called out for your actions" I chuckled, he looked at me.

I shouldn't of have said that.

"Oh so I know you too, you are a nosy bitch that likes to be also an ass control freak and a pain in the ass" He snapped starting the car.

"Thank you, that described me quite good" I quietly said trying not to take his words seriously, he is just mad and wants to fight "And you are annoying" He added, I nodded looking out the window.

"But you also are sexy" He admitted, I felt my cheeks heat up "but when you're asleep you drool and that is such a turn off" He scrunched his nose, I laughed "sorry" I laughed out.

A small smile formed on his lips "Want to come to my house to hang, I kind of need a tutor" He said, I nodded "If you promise we aren't going to fight" I asked him, he shrugged "Depends on you" He muttered, I rolled my eyes but stayed quiet, knowing it was the best thing to do.

Once we got there, Rick wasn't home, so we went straight to his room, once we got there, I sat down on the chair from his desk while he was taking his books out.

"Okay so..." He begun as he leaned over me to put his books just in front of me, I felt him breathe on my neck, causing me to tense up, once he noticed, he came closer to my neck softly nibbling at the skin.

"N-Noah" I stuttered "Yes baby?" He whispered looking me in the eyes, and then I was the one crushing my lips on his, he immediately started to kiss me back.

He came closer pulling me off the chair not breaking the kiss, he pushed me over to the bed and laid us down not breaking the kiss.

I groaned pulling at his shirt, he looked at me breaking the kiss "You want to take it off?" He asked, I nodded shyly "only if you take yours off too" he whispered, I nodded slowly.

He kissed me slowly pulling my shirt over my head "Fucking hell you're sexy" He said looking down to my body, taking in my breasts biting his lips, I felt my cheeks heat up and then pulled his shirt over his head, taking in his six pack, but couldn't help but see his chest full of scars, I gaped at it looking at his face, he was looking at me waiting for approval.

I sat up slowly taking my hand to his chest, I traced my hand down his round small scars, causing him to wince just like the burns were still there "Is this okay?" I whispered sitting down on his lap, I saw his under lip shake a little bit, with his eyes screwed shut he nodded, it looked to me he was about to start crying.

I slowly started to kiss his neck kissing down his chest, his breathing has increased a little bit as I could of sworn I felt his heart beat like ten times faster.

He shifted awkwardly under me, making me aware that his other member wanted attention too, I stopped looking at him, his eyes were glossy but full of lust "I'm sorry" I whispered referring to what happened to him putting my hand on his cheek, he closed his eyes for a second.

"It's not your fault" He whispered "Noah.." I whispered, he looked at me in the eyes.

"Would you take my virginity?" I whispered.


	34. Thirty - Four

"You want me to fuck you?" Noah breathed out, I blushed at the choice of words, I bit my lip "Are you sure?" He whispered looking in my eyes, I looked back in his, the hunger didn't fade, if you asked me, it only had increased.

"I'm as sure as I can be" I mumbled blushing, he smiled a bit kissing my neck, me still on top of him, his hands traced to my back and with just one move of his hand, my bra opened, how many times has he done this?

Okay, I shouldn't think like that "What is it?" He whispered looking at my face, I was frowning without noticing "Nothing" I tried to smile "Oh come on" He mumbled laying me down again taking my bare breasts in "Fuck Ava" he breathed out licking his lips.

That helped with my insecurities, causing me to smile "You are so hot" He breathed out starting to kiss my breasts ever so softly, I moaned quietly taking in the pleasure I was feeling.

I started squeezing my legs shut again just like I've tried couple of days before to ease the overwhelming feeling down my parts, he smirked "That isn't going to help baby" He whispered kissing down my body, pulling down my pants I just put on a couple of hours ago.

Then he pulled down my panties as well, ever so slowly, just like he was waiting for me to ask him to stop, I groaned kicking them off so he would go faster.

"Noah I'm sure" I whispered looking at him and then at his pants, I started unbuttoning them pulling them down, once he was in his boxers, I gulped at his bulge he had going on there.

I looked up at his face and he was smirking "You like what you see?" He whispered pulling out his pants and then slowly reached to the pocket and got a condom out, does he always have a condom on him? Are you stupid? How many girls do you think he sleeps with in one day? My subconscious tried to make me regret my choice.

I sighed trying to calm down "Are you okay?" He asked once again "Yes Noah, just do it" I groaned eager for him, I got up and started biting his neck causing him to groan and grab my breast immediately, moans escaping my mouth.

I tugged his boxers down, he helped me pushing me back down on my bed "Please tell me if it hurts, okay?" He said carefully, I nodded, he slipped on a condom and touched me down there with his hand.

His finger was rubbing against my clit and another one slipped in, causing me to groan a little arching my back "You are so ready for me" He smirked pulling away, I whined at the loss of his touch.

"Be patient now" He smirked laying on top of me holding himself up with his hands, he lifted my legs up a little bit separating them.

"You are 100% sure?" He said again "I am" I whispered, he kissed me softly, like he never did before as I felt a sharp pain down there, the sharpness quickly faded as it started to burn, he slowly kept going in "Is it really bad?" He asked quietly, I quickly shook my head biting my lip hard.

And then once he started moving, that's when I felt the burn disappear, and it was replaced with pleasure, he kept thrusting slowly and carefully as I let out a moan.

"That's it, moan for me" He breathed out in my neck "Does it feel good?" He whispered, I nodded not being able to talk, "You feel so good" He softly moaned biting down my neck.

Now I know what I've been missing out on.

"So good" He groaned, then he began going faster, I groaned loudly moaning out his name, I traced my hands up and touched his chest.

He closed his eyes slowing down again, his breathing started to slow down and he started shaking his head "Please" He managed to crack out, I quickly pulled my hands back and he started to go faster again.

Once I felt the pressure build up, my legs started shaking like crazy "Come for me" He breathed out "I..." I can't hold it in anymore, was what I was trying to say.

The rhythm started to slow down and his kisses on my neck became sloppier as we both came at the same time, I whimpered slowly as my legs kept shaking.

He pulled back slowly and pulled the condom off, threw it in the bin and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Are you okay?" I asked him still not able to breathe, he nodded "It was really good" He smiled at me "I'm sorry for touching you" I sat up with him "we'll work on that" He got up taking his boxers putting them on, I put on my panties "Do you maybe want to put on my shirt?" He asked me, I looked at him.

"Nevermind, that's weird" He chuckled, I took his shirt from the ground and put it on, I turned around to face him and he was staring at me "Like this?" I asked him, he nodded "Did you like it?" He asked me, I smiled "Of course" I said and then I spotted my blood on his sheets.

He looked over to where I was looking and quickly got up "I'm sorry" I said, he pulled the sheet off of the bed "That's not your fault Ava" He chuckled.

"I like this part of you" I said, he looked at me confused "You're all being nice" I chuckled helping to put up the new sheet on his bed, as soon as it was on he pulled me on the bed "You are different now than an hour ago" I whispered "Well an hour ago I didn't fuck so... makes sense doesn't it?" He laughed.

Ouch.

"Or maybe you know that I won't take you less serious if you are not this mad dude who keeps snapping at everyone" "You're ruining it" He warned "I'm saying the truth" I reminded him "Ava you're pushing it" He sat up.

"Sorry" I sighed sitting up aswell.

"Let me take you to your dorm" He said putting on his pants taking another shirt throwing my pants to me, I put them on and pulled my hair in a bun.

I put on my pants sighing "Fine" I muttered getting up.


	35. Thirty - Five

"See you later?" I mumbled to Noah once I got to my dorm room, he walked me in, which is weird to begin with "Yeah, sure" He said, not convincing me tho, I opened the door sighing.

I got in, and then he grabbed me by my wrist "It doesn't have anything to do with what happened a couple of minutes ago, I just need some alone time" He explained, for the first time ever, I smiled a bit "It's okay" I managed to crack out and closed the door basically in his face and then broke down.

"Ava?" Isa asked, I took a deep breath "Sorry I didn't know you were here" I wiped my eyes trying to calm myself down.

"What happened?" She sighed sitting down on my bed "I don't really want to talk about it" I muttered taking clothes and walking out, I walked to the bathrooms and got in the shower and then I bursted out crying.

I'm so stupid, I just lost my virginity not an hour ago, and I thought it was going to be just like in the movies, that Noah would let me in his life and welcome me with open arms, but here I am, all alone crying in the showers, once again because of Noah.

I stayed there until the water went cold and got out, then I realized I just did what everyone warned me for, I'm just like the other girls, sleeping with Noah. His little toy.

I put some make up on and my clothes, I put my hair back up in a bun and then put my stuff back in my room, telling Isa I will be out, she was saying something but I didn't let her finish and walked off.

"Hey beautiful" Justin called, "Hey Justin" I said quietly afraid of my own voice, he looked at me confused "Was it Ethan?" He asked, I shook my head "Its nothing, I'm just going to grab a coffee" "Cool, mind if I join?" He asked, I smiled "Not at all" I said walking to the cafe.

I sat down after ordering my coffee and so did Justin, I looked around only to spot Noah sit in the seat right next to us, with Lana, he had his boring expression on his face while she was laughing.

Is this some alone time?

I awkwardly looked at my coffee in my hands and glanced up at Justin only to see him look at the same thing as me "Do you like him?" He asked quietly, I chuckled "I dont" I said taking a sip of my coffee.

"Are you sure?" He asked, I nodded "Why?" I chuckled "You glare at Lana" "She's just a bitch" I explained myself, I don't like Noah.

Then why did you have sex with him? 

I pushed once again the annoying voice in my head away, Justin nodded "Here he is" Justin said, I looked back only to see Ethan walk in with some other guy, he came straight up here "Aye" he said as always, I looked over to Justin awkwardly and then back at my coffee.

"I'm Ed" The other boy said, I looked up at him and smiled "Hey" I said "No hey for me?" Ethan smirked, Justin got up "How many times do you need Noah to beat you up?" Justin growled at him "Stop it, can I just please have some coffee?" I begged Justin, he sighed and sat back down, Ethan sat down next to me.

"Why aren't you talking to me?" Ethan chuckled, I bit my tongue, I promised Noah.

"Hey you little bitch" He said grabbing my wrist, I quickly tried to pull back but his grip was to strong "Don't fucking touch me!" I yelled, Justin got up and took Ethan by his throat catching of guard so he let go "Stop fucking messing with her" Justin said in his face.

I got up and looked over at Noah, who was watching it all but not moving, I looked at Ethan "Next time Noah beats you up, I won't be the one stopping him" I said taking my coffee and stormed to Noah.

"So much for your alone time huh? You are bigger of a jerk than I thought" I snapped and then stormed out slamming the door, why so much drama? Why can't I do anything without having Ethan around? Or even Noah.

Justin ran out "I'm so sorry" He sighed, I shook my head sitting on a bench "Thanks for standing up for me, since your leader was so busy" I remarked, he chuckled "It's okay" He smiled.

Noah came out and walked towards us "Come with me" Noah demanded "Excuse me?" I snapped at him "Noah dude I think you should cal-" Justin tried "now" He said, staring into my eyes, this isn't a good sign, I sighed getting up "I'm sorry" I said to Justin.

I glared at Noah and walked away "Why do you always have to talk to Ethan?" Noah asked, clearly pissed off , I stopped in tracks "Excuse me?" I asked him shocked "Why do you have to go to Lana when you said you needed some time alone?" I crossed my arms "Don't fucking start this with me right now" Noah warned me "Now what? You can come here all bossy about me telling off Ethan while you just had an intimate moment with me an hour ago and now you are here with fucking Lana" I raised my voice.

And then he bursted out laughing "We fucked, it was fun, but it's over, it wasn't an intimate moment, it was just me messing around" He simply said, and I swear I felt my heart break into million pieces.

"You are an asshole" I glared at him "You are pathetic" he rolled his eyes, I raised my hand to him but before I could hit him he stopped my hand, he looked at my hand while his hand was grabbing my wrist. "Don't you fucking dare" He spat out "I hate you" I said ripping my hand out of his grip.

"You are even more sick than I thought you were" I said before storming off.

And now I know what Lucas was talking about.


End file.
